lessons learnt – Dainty M.

Posted on March 30, 2016March 30, 2016 by Dainty M · 36 Comments

22 Lessons

The day broke out in elegance, the birds chirped joyfully heralding the dawn of a new age. No doubt, today is special, the 23rd of its kind for me and words are not enough to say how grateful I am to God for the gift of life! 😀 A big thank you to my family, friends and the amazing blogging community! God bless you! ❤ ❤

Photo Credit: giphy.com

I’m gonna share lessons learnt so far, enjoy!

Being a grown up has its perks, but I feel the whole excitement about adulthood is a tad overrated.

You have fewer friends as you grow older. Face it, life gets busy. And if you’re living in a bustling city like Lagos, you may only see your friends once in a long time based on scheduled visits. No more bursting into the next room in your hostel just to give your friend some new gist 😦

Life isn’t as rosy as the fairy-tale books said. Well, I should have learnt this a long time ago but I’ve always been a dreamer. Dreaming of better days and perfect scenarios but life continues to show me how imperfect everything is! :

When you start paying your bills, you learn how to manage your resources a lot better. I think I did most of my shopping while I was in school, receiving regular allowances. But now that I have to earn the money, I’d rather not spend a huge chunk on some trendy bag. Sure there would be shopping days but now with extra calculation. 😉

Oh yeah the outside world is scary! The culture shock is outta this world! Ok, that’s a little exaggerated. But being on the outside takes a whole lot of adjusting which I’m still learning.

Apparently dates don’t just jump on you when you become an adult. Well for me, Mr.Right eludes me but still not a good enough reason to compromise. Being dateless could be sad though, but it’s still better than being in erroneous relationships.

Forgive the past. There are tons of things I would like to change. Tons of things I would like to forget. But yet they hunt me every now and then. Hence the need to forgive the past. Just let it go because there’s really nothing you can do about the past, except learn from it.

Although life can get really busy, you’re never too busy for those who matter. I’ve made the mistake of pushing away friends because I don’t get the time to reach out, but many lonely movie nights have reminded me of the importance of keeping them close.

Dressing up as a grown up, so worth it! Yes I love the ‘tees, jeans and sneakers’ outfit but being a grown up also means wearing some heels, pencil skirts and mature colors.Of course I still revert to my comfy jeans and sneakers when I get the chance but I think the grown up dressing is super chic. 😉

You know how your dad and his friends read the news and deliberate on how the economy is bad or how some policy isn’t favourable? Well, soon enough that becomes you, grasping for news to analyze with your friends and colleagues. Everything now relates to you, including the stuffs that were considered boring as a teen.

Don’t push personal development and acquisition of skills to when you’re grown up. Read as much as you can while in school. I wish I did a little more reading of books that were not my school books. I wish I acquired new skills while I still had the ‘spare’ time. Now I have to fight to get that time to spend developing myself.

When are you getting married? Yes I love romance and marriage and everything in between! But no, don’t ask me this because I’m now a ‘grown up’. It only freaks me out the more! I wish people could get that.

Serve the Lord in your youth. Going by my new cycle of life I wonder what will happen when I become old. Serve God while you still have the strength and lesser things to concern yourself with. Because soon enough the pressures and pleasures of this life will overwhelm you.

Don’t get depressed if you don’t get the hourglass shape, but don’t relent on staying healthy. Eat good food, fruits and a lot of water. Exercise as often as possible. And yes exercise needs a lot of commitment! Stay true to the goal.

Don’t compare yourself with others. If there’s anything I learnt while growing up, it’s contentment. Worse was when I read in the Bible that covetousness is akin to idolatry. That scared the hell outta me. So yeah I admire stuffs but I don’t have to get them for myself especially if I don’t have the means to. Stay contented and avoid comparisons.

Still on comparisons, don’t envy others who may have been your mates but are on a different stage of their lives. Be diligent in your endeavours and you’ll get there. No, you don’t have to be pilot because your friend who is a pilot bought a house. You don’t have to get married just because all your mates are doing it. Stay true to who you are.

Live a little. No, live a lot. Live everyday. Not just on Fridays. Let your life go beyond you and let the blessings you have spread graciously to others around you. Therein lies the fulfillment of truly living.

Attend weddings and birthdays. Be there for your friends. I’m not a pro here but I’ve learnt how necessary this is. I look forward to weddings this year and the dress shopping that comes with it 😉

You are never grown up in the eyes of your parents. I kinda find this comforting, because I don’t want to be all ‘adult’. I want to still talk like a child over the phone with my dad or watch my mom lovingly make my favourite meal. I want to be able to cry as a child when I’m upset and know that my parents would have the right things to say because they’ve passed through it. So don’t fight it when they treat you as a kid. Enjoy it because the world won’t see you as kid anymore.

Growing up comes with responsibilities. You can never run from the ‘R’ word. You have to be responsible for your decisions and the consequences that come with them. Scary as this is, trust God to help you make the right decisions. You’ll also have to be responsible for others. If you can’t manage yourself well, how will you manage others?

Don’t leave the big birthday celebrations for the big years like 18, 21, 25, 30 etc. See every year as a big one. Celebrate accomplishments, embrace failures and use them as corrections. I definitely didn’t want to celebrate this because I felt ‘it’s not a big deal’ but it is! I could stop breathing at any point but the fact that I’ve breathed long enough to see a new year is worth celebrating!

I’ll leave this to those who have passed through this age before. What have you learnt? Just drop one or two lessons that would help me in the comment section. This will be a much appreciated birthday gift! 🙂

Oopsy! I forgot to warn you it was gonna be a long read! If you made it to the end, well done! I’ll send a chunk of my birthday cake! 😀

I’m usually grinning in pictures, just had to take one ‘grown up’ shot with no excessive grins 😀 😀

If you like to see pictures, please follow @dainty_m on Instagram to view pictures from this amazing day!

Lots of love ❤

©Mfon Etuk, 2016

Posted on March 20, 2016 by Dainty M · 28 Comments

I’m Okay and I’m On My Way

Hey guys!

For those of you who have read the last couple of posts, you’d know I’ve been going through a lot and I really appreciate everyone who stuck with me through it! Thanks for the encouragement and prayers. It felt good to be on the receiving end of the encouragement! 😀

I’m glad to let you know I’m okay, and I’m on my way forward. The storm is calm and God’s peace has taken over. Thank God!

So I’m gonna share what I learnt from the past weeks;

Surround Yourself with ‘Encouragers’

I whined a lot about the depression and the bad breaks to quite a number of friends. The listeners listened; the encouragers encouraged me in the word, those who didn’t understand, still said something. A lot said the things I already knew. This reminded me of what Job said;

I also could speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. –Job 16:4

This made me give a lot more thought to how I encourage others. Let’s face it, most of the things you hear, you already know. What makes the difference is the empathy and the understanding shown by the person encouraging. You don’t go saying stuffs when you have no idea what the person is going through.

It all lies in your hands

One of my senior friends took the time out to let me know the power to stop being miserable was in my hands. She understood my whining and empathized with me. But also told me that we are responsible for our happiness not other people. We determine how to react to bad stuffs that happen and how we let them affect us.

life quote

This was followed by another message by Joyce Meyer that spoke about taking personal responsibility of what happens to us. There’s a limit to which people can help us. The bulk of the work still rests on our shoulders and our decisions.

Get your groove back!

So hey, I pulled out of the frumps and into some pumps and took myself out. Watched a really cool movie, didn’t even realize when I finished the pack of popcorn! Then I went on a shopping spree! Got a really cute dress, an amazing perfume and yeah I got a new chunky ring! 😀 Also had my favourite frozen yoghurt! Now that’s my happy place! I forgot about the stuffs weighing me down and I even noticed how cute the clouds were on my way home. Like some soft pillows for the sky to rest upon. So adorable!

Photo Credit: shumilamalik5.wordpress.com

You can’t stay in your happy place forever

Oh, shopping is my happy place ! I totally love getting new stuffs! 😀 But I found out you really can’t stay in your happy place forever. Reality kicks in like an unwanted guest. Not long into the week I broke down again. It was an implosion that caused an explosion as I attacked the people that came around me. I always had my moods under control but I just lost it that day and they saw it- and of course, it freaked them out 😦

True Joy comes from God

Happiness is easily triggered by circumstances and is often short lived. But joy! Oh sweet joy that comes from knowing God and how much He loves you regardless of your imperfections. I sought after that joy. Repented of my sins and turned back to His warm embrace. 🙂

I had to stop looking to people and things to give me only what God could give me– joy and peace!

So dear one, if you’re still going through the sad phase, please cheer up. The night can never stop the day from breaking forth. No matter how stormy it is, calmness is certain. Take responsibility for your life. Christ has already given you victory over this battle. Just arise and take it!

Have a super amazing week ahead!

Lots of love,

Feel free to share your thoughts! I look forward to reading them 😀

***Song for the day; Wanna Be Happy by Kirk Franklin***

Posted on August 31, 2015January 23, 2016 by Dainty M · 6 Comments

Selfie and Lessons Learnt -Day31

Take a selfie and write what I have learnt in this past month

Yippeee!!!!

We made it!

We have successfully come to the end of the challenge!

All thanks to God who saw us through the month.

It’s been a learning process for me and I’ll try to sum up the lessons in these short points;

I can achieve anything I set out to achieve as long as I remain committed to the goal- commitment pays!
Stepping out of my comfort zone is really uncomfortable but it exposes me to new knowledge and insights- so worth it!
I have no excuse to allow a day pass without adding value to a person’s life.
Creativity cannot be put in a box- it has wings to fly!
I have the most supporting readers ever! It could get really lonely out here but knowing I’ve got you guys is so heart-warming. Thanks! 😀
It’s difficult to not get high on the praises and downcast with the criticisms-balance is always key.
Most importantly, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So can you!

This was an amazing journey for me. As a matter of fact, the journey was the reward, not the destination. I learnt a whole lot and I discovered things about myself that I had never really thought about. It took lots of time and motivation to churn out posts daily but I’m grateful to God for His sufficient grace and strength.

Within the second week, I felt it was a mistake ‘cause I began to struggle to push through. But as they always say; some people give up just at the edge of a breakthrough. On the other hand, if you don’t give up, you’ll discover the light at the end of the tunnel. So why give up?

Once again, I give God all the glory for His faithfulness. And I’m grateful to you guys for staying through the whole month. This isn’t the end. There’s so much more to come! Stay tuned 😉

I challenge you!

September is a great month for a 30 days challenge. So whatchu gonna do for the next 30 days that would add value to your life and that of others?

Close with Prov 22:29

Observe people who are good at their work – skilled workers are always in demand and admired; they don’t take a back seat to anyone. (MSG)

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men. (KJV)

Oh yeah!!! Here’s the selfie (couldn’t pick between the two- selfie queen 😉