It was my second day in the ward. I could see all the distressed faces— my mom, my dad, and even my brothers looked sad. I shut my eyes hard, trying to picture myself in another place. A peaceful place. A quiet place. Where is that white light they say people see when they’re about to crossover?
I’m so addicted to the pain
I don’t know how to live without it
I’m so addicted to the tears
I don’t wear mascara anymore
I’m so addicted to the hurt
It doesn’t hurt anymore
Thanks for sticking with me from the first letter, to the second, the third and now. I may be writing this to help you but it is helping me more. I think letting things out in the open helps. It makes us know we are not alone. I like listening to NF music because he says all the right things…the things I feel. In his words, ‘this is therapy for me’ 🙂
Depression and loneliness.
Sometimes I think it’s a cause and effect relationship, where depression causes loneliness or is it loneliness that causes depression? I don’t know anymore. Maybe it works both ways. Being lonely often gives room for the depression to invade completely. While being depressed also pretty much drives people away, leaving you lonely.
Isn’t that all the devil wants? To keep you so far from help and fill you with negative thoughts. Suffice it to say loneliness and depression go hand in hand.
I know you hurt right now and the last thing you want to hear is that you should stay strong or just shake it off. I know there’s nothing I can say to you that you don’t already know. The worst part is, I know you think no one else understands what you’re going through. But I do, because I’ve been there. Thanks for reading the first and second letters. Continue reading “Letters to the Depressed 3”
If you’re reading this, then you probably read the first letter and you’re back as I asked. Or not. It’s just an assumption. I’ve been trying to write to you. But my cares and worries won’t let me. I’ve been trying to speak to you but my voice is muffled inside. I’ve been trying to reach you, to let you know this too shall pass. Well, it either passes or you pass from it. Continue reading “Letters to the Depressed 2”
So I finally got the courage to write to you. Please read, cause I’m not gonna write you off, like they did. Do you feel intense sadness, hopelessness, emptiness and/or loss of interest in the things you once enjoyed? Do you feel guilty, worthless, absolutely helpless and and/or anxious? Or do you have thoughts of death or suicide quite often? If you said yes to any of these, then I’m writing this for you. Continue reading “Letters to the Depressed 1”