Posted in LTTD, Mental Health Files

Live Life at Full Brightness…

I watched the recently released movie, ‘All the Bright Places’ on Netflix. A part of me knew it was gonna break my heart… but I still watched and wept deeply.

The movie tried to depict mental health struggles that people go through in such a captivating way. I could totally relate. I know there are lots of people out there carrying weights from stuff they never talk about.

Here in Nigeria, people still struggle to understand mental health issues. But you don’t have to understand it to be kind. There was this recent gist about a guy who wanted to jump off third mainland bridge because his long-term relationship was over. People have joked about it, and probably said stuff like, ‘That can never be me’. We all have different thresholds for pain. Don’t use your capacity to take more pain to trivialize another whose world may be crumbling.

It scares me… to think, how many people are here, lost, afraid, unsure of who to talk to, unsure of how to turn off the voices in their head—you know, those voices that tell you that you aren’t good enough and no one will miss you when you’re gone. It scares me to think you’re out there, right now, hopeless, in the midst of people yet feeling alone, struggling to cope, while knowing your coping mechanisms are only destroying you… it scares me. It scares me to think about how many people are just one ‘good word’ away from committing suicide.

This year has been such a rollercoaster for me. I’m learning now how to appreciate the night and day, the dark spaces and the light. Most times, the dark can be so overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like my head is under water, and unlike John Legend sang, I’m not breathing fine. I’ve felt numb, blank even… like nothing else matters. Like there’s nothing more. You know?

My own brain to me is the most unaccountable of machinery, always buzzing, humming, soaring, diving and then buried in mud. And then why? What’s this passion for?-Virginia Woolf

After a while the light returns. Just like the day always breaks no matter how dark or long the night has been. In that moment, I realize I was never alone. I had people that genuinely cared. I had God. And even when my faith was barely a mustard seed and I couldn’t see Him through the blur, He was still there.

Photo Credit: 8tracks.com

Why am I telling you all of these? To let you know that you’re never alone. There’s more for you here. Please stay awake. Stay alive.

I feel like we can’t go through another of those terrible times. – Virginia Woolf

Good for you if you can’t relate to any of the things I just wrote. Remember to extend grace and love to those around you going through stuff that may sound trivial to you.

I’ll end with some quotes from the movie. (I didn’t talk much about it so I wouldn’t give you spoilers).

It’s okay to get lost as long as you find your way back.

There are bright places even in dark times. And if there isn’t, you can be that bright place.. with infinite capacities.

-From the movie, ‘All the Bright Places’

It’s always my desire that you live victoriously!

Love,

M.

Posted in 30 days blogging challenge, Mental Health Files

February Prompts

Happy new month!!!

It’s only January borns that didn’t notice how ‘everlasting’ the month was. I’m pretty sure I lived an entire year in one month. But I’m finally glad it’s over and we can open a new chapter.

Thanks to KerryTosan, I got to see this February prompt post that would help me write more consistently. The topics here are pretty interesting as well. So I hope you’ll join me on this journey all through February!

Prompt 1: Things Unsaid

In the same vein, I can’t explain my interaction with negative words. They’re the kryptonite to every wordsmith. Piercing the heart of creativity until it dries up. To them, it’s just another careless word. But to those with sense 6, it’s a trigger. It snaps. They snap. And they’re gone without a sound.

January was a ticking bomb for me. Can’t tell if it was the month or if I was the bomb. I was drained emotionally and mentally, everything lost it’s meaning—including life. Lots of things remain unsaid as people still grapple with understanding mental health issues. Lots of things remain unsaid as we try to find ourselves. As we struggle to connect with our core and find the meaning of our existence.

Prompt 2: Missing in Action

Suicidal thoughts do not mean you’re weak or averse to pain and hardships in life. It just means you’re trying to find a way to tell the world what’s been going on in your head, by cracking it open. Blood always speaks louder.

To live is one of the rarest things in life, because most people just exist. They barely get by. Hanging on to toxic environments or relationships, taking in all the crap they can take just to make ends meet. While living becomes a burden, and not many survive the travails. So even while we’re here, most of us are still lost in space. All just missing in action.

Thanks for reading!

Lots of love,

M.❤️

Posted in Mental Health Files

Have You Had a Mental Health Check Lately?

I live in a society where words like ‘mental health’ are easily associated with running mad on the streets. In a lot of circles, people still believe it’s just a lingua for lazy youth who can’t toughen up to the harsh realities of life. They couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Continue reading “Have You Had a Mental Health Check Lately?”

Posted in Mental Health Files

The Girl Who Almost Killed Herself

It was my second day in the ward. I could see all the distressed faces— my mom, my dad, and even my brothers looked sad. I shut my eyes hard, trying to picture myself in another place. A peaceful place. A quiet place. Where is that white light they say people see when they’re about to crossover?

Continue reading “The Girl Who Almost Killed Herself”

Posted in Mental Health Files

Are we more depressed in this generation?

Hey guys!

So I had my first Instagram question Poll yesterday! Yes, I’m a millennial with an old soul (and still trying to catch up on all these new features on social media- no judging!) Anyway, here was my question: “would you say that life as we know it now is more depressing than it was for generations before us?” Continue reading “Are we more depressed in this generation?”