Posted in Mental Health Files

When I finally become a therapist…

I’ll fluff those pillows and fill the room with beautiful fragrances and scented candles. I’ll listen to you without judgement in my heart, my voice or my face. You’ll look at me and see love. Love, not because you’re perfect, but love because you’re flawed like I am. Continue reading “When I finally become a therapist…”

Posted in Mental Health Files, Poetry

Garden of the Mind

Photo Credit: themindgarden.org

Like a garden with fresh flowers,

Her mind bloomed in the spring,

It brought happiness to all who stopped by,

To glean of her youth and wisdom.

Indeed, she was was a sight for sore eyes,

And a soothing voice for broken hearts. Continue reading “Garden of the Mind”

Posted in Mental Health Files

Trapped

Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Trapped.

To be held against one’s will.

But what if it is my will that barged in and handcuffed me?

What if it’s my power to fight and defend myself that has chosen to surrender the white flag and be taken as a prisoner of war?

My mind is a fortress.

But does it keep away evil or does it lock me out from everything good?

These thoughts are everywhere,

They keep coming…

I’m surrounded. Continue reading “Trapped”

Posted in Mental Health Files

How does anyone keep positive in these times?

Hey guys!

More than ever before, I feel like my emotions have been on a rollercoaster. One moment I’m happy and hopeful, the next I’m flat on my back on the floor imagining the Grim reaper’s visit. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but you get the picture. Lol.

Continue reading “How does anyone keep positive in these times?”

Posted in Mental Health Files

It’s okay not to be okay

Hey guys!

How are y’all coping with the global pandemic and lockdown? Well, for me it’s been crazy. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’d know I’m largely introverted and enjoy the four walls of my home. But these days are different. I still wish for the option to go out so I don’t lose my mind. Welps! It’s all for our safety! Continue reading “It’s okay not to be okay”

Posted in LTTD, Mental Health Files

Live Life at Full Brightness…

I watched the recently released movie, ‘All the Bright Places’ on Netflix. A part of me knew it was gonna break my heart… but I still watched and wept deeply.

The movie tried to depict mental health struggles that people go through in such a captivating way. I could totally relate. I know there are lots of people out there carrying weights from stuff they never talk about.

Here in Nigeria, people still struggle to understand mental health issues. But you don’t have to understand it to be kind. There was this recent gist about a guy who wanted to jump off third mainland bridge because his long-term relationship was over. People have joked about it, and probably said stuff like, ‘That can never be me’. We all have different thresholds for pain. Don’t use your capacity to take more pain to trivialize another whose world may be crumbling.

It scares me… to think, how many people are here, lost, afraid, unsure of who to talk to, unsure of how to turn off the voices in their head—you know, those voices that tell you that you aren’t good enough and no one will miss you when you’re gone. It scares me to think you’re out there, right now, hopeless, in the midst of people yet feeling alone, struggling to cope, while knowing your coping mechanisms are only destroying you… it scares me. It scares me to think about how many people are just one ‘good word’ away from committing suicide.

This year has been such a rollercoaster for me. I’m learning now how to appreciate the night and day, the dark spaces and the light. Most times, the dark can be so overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like my head is under water, and unlike John Legend sang, I’m not breathing fine. I’ve felt numb, blank even… like nothing else matters. Like there’s nothing more. You know?

My own brain to me is the most unaccountable of machinery, always buzzing, humming, soaring, diving and then buried in mud. And then why? What’s this passion for?-Virginia Woolf

After a while the light returns. Just like the day always breaks no matter how dark or long the night has been. In that moment, I realize I was never alone. I had people that genuinely cared. I had God. And even when my faith was barely a mustard seed and I couldn’t see Him through the blur, He was still there.

Photo Credit: 8tracks.com

Why am I telling you all of these? To let you know that you’re never alone. There’s more for you here. Please stay awake. Stay alive.

I feel like we can’t go through another of those terrible times. – Virginia Woolf

Good for you if you can’t relate to any of the things I just wrote. Remember to extend grace and love to those around you going through stuff that may sound trivial to you.

I’ll end with some quotes from the movie. (I didn’t talk much about it so I wouldn’t give you spoilers).

It’s okay to get lost as long as you find your way back.

There are bright places even in dark times. And if there isn’t, you can be that bright place.. with infinite capacities.

-From the movie, ‘All the Bright Places’

It’s always my desire that you live victoriously!

Love,

M.