I crave for the past,

Like a lion in captivity,

Longing for the vast lands of the Serengeti

For the wind in his hair

While running for miles without restrictions Roaring , stamping his authority as king.

I long for the days of simplicity ,

When it was either black or white

When there were no complications ,

Like a beach, the ocean and land intersecting but not conquering each other – mutual respect,

I miss the mutual respects,

I miss when the world didn’t have grey,

When it was color blind,

When there were no colors…

How I envy dogs,

Color blind from the spectrum of the world,

From the discriminations and segregation.

I dream of a world where the continents haven’t been connected by trade and greed,

Transcending over the ages into commerce and integration but still having the tenets of its heritage of greed and trade.

I envy the ants , untainted from the world, their civilization still as it was eons ago

I’m lost in trying to understand their way of life, how could they survive without “modern economics and commerce ” the devils of this world

But yet they have existed , they have thrived, they have survived.

What does that say about their ” more evolved ” Homo sapiens brothers? ,

Related by the ecosystem who have “evolved”

But still find a way to disregard the most fundamental aim of evolution, “survival”

How are they different from the savage beasts of the wild? .

I am African but feel less and less African with every passing day,

Like a caterpillar slowly transforming into a completely different person ,

Transforming into a butterfly.

But does this mean that I’m changing for the better ?

For of course, I am more beautiful , more flamboyant , alluring , pleasing to the eye, easily acceptable to the world , a world whose benchmark for acceptance is vanity.

With my newly found “acceptance ” by the world I have completely been transformed ,

Leaving my “crude and ugly ” caterpillar form behind,

Abandoning my roots, my heritage , becoming less African with every passing day.

What is a tree without its roots I pray thee? What is a building without its foundation?

Change comes and sweeps me off my feet,

Like a mermaid , she sings enticing songs to my ear,

O sweet melody! making its way to my heart, swaying me away from who I truly am ,

Leading me to her, and like a mermaid , beautifully created, her smile eventually captures my heart for good but her claws drag me down to the depths of the sea, destroyed , forever lost … Not just to myself but to the world.

But is change bad? Can’t there be a good transition ?

Of course change is the most constant thing in the world.

With time as her sister, they are an unconquerable force ,

Resistance is futile either for bad or good, we must change,

I crave the days of the past, I envy when I was simple, raw, untainted ,I miss when I was me.

Written by Obinna Obioma