There are times in our lives when it seems nothing is working. Not even the new wristwatch you got. Nada! Zilch! Then you somehow remember some of God’s promises; ‘You’re the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath’. You laugh hard ‘cause you’re way below ‘beneath’. You’re flat ass broke, lonely, depressed, helpless; basically, you’re pretty low. But soon enough you catch a tiny glimpse of hope; a deal, a proposition from a friend, a promise made by someone to send you funds, a connection that seems to be just what you needed. Read the rest of this entry »
Don’t put me in a box.
Don’t limit me by the things you can’t do
The heights you can’t reach
The situations you can’t change
Just because you find it hard to forgive that wrong
Doesn’t mean I find it so hard to forgive your sins
Just because you don’t love yourself
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you!
I created time but I am not limited by it
I created the universe but I’m not confined by it
Even death can’t limit me
So why should you?
Don’t limit me by your mind
Just because you can’t see it
Doesn’t mean it’s not there
Just because you can’t see me
Doesn’t mean I’m not there
Take the limits off me
And open your mind
Your mind will be completely blown away
When you see all the things I can do
Take that leap of faith!
©Mfon Etuk, 2016
This story isn’t over, was the last thing I said and meant. It rained again today. But this time I was too weary to write. I ponder on a lot of things. And this time the difference between love and hate. I’m a hopeless romantic- you probably knew that already. Even though I constantly conceal that with a tough exterior. But I can’t lie to myself- even if I lie to others.
So yes I took the trip. And I met someone. We connected within a couple of days and just couldn’t get by without talking. He was eccentric- like me- and I liked him. He is an artiste. Sings for a living. To be honest, I don’t see the job security in that as there are a million other artistes around. Well, who am I to judge? I travel for a living. That’s as insecure as a job can get. Not a job, more like my life. But that’s okay.
He was sweet. His smile was full of radiance like the sun rising from the East over soft blue skies. He was spontaneous. He had this cheerful demeanor and his eyes pierced through the soul.Oh and yes he writes songs. He wrote one for me while we were in Greece and I loved it.
We toured the beautiful streets of Greece hands entwined. He made me laugh a lot more than I can remember doing. maybe I just needed a reason to laugh away my pain. He wasn’t into food and would pass on the traditional meals I was crazy about. I should probably write on the confessions of a foodie as I am one myself.
Greece was a time of refreshing and he definitely made it worth it.
So are we together? You may ask.
He is married.
Found his ring in his guitar case. Of course I asked about it and then he stuttered a bit before explaining how he was having issues with his wife and needed to take a break. Sighs.
Isn’t it crazy how two people who couldn’t get their hands off each other while dating turn out to be two strangers who can’t stand being together in the same room?
Love and hate, such a thin line in between! One day you’re professing your deep undying love for her. The next, you shout hate words and stomp away never to look back.
It’s mind boggling! I once had someone declare his affectionate love for me. Called me all the sweet names in the book. But in the blink of an eye it was all over, and it was like nothing ever happened. The love words were gone. The sweet names, gone. It was as though nothing ever existed. Call me disillusioned.
How thin is the line between love and hate that people easily drift in and out of? Where does the passion all go to?
Love for me is a dream. It’s either I sleep on till death or I wake up and it’s gone. But not everyone likes sleep. Some people just have to wake us back to reality. Rather unfortunate, if you ask me. I wish we could love and not hate. But in reality, I believe more in hate than love. It surprises me when people say they are in love. Maybe I’m just being cynical. But it works fine for me.
Greece was great. His name was George. And no he didn’t use the second ticket I had. I’ll probably use it some other time. But for now, I’m all set to go back home.
The weather is beautiful. The birds are chirping away. I waved at him one last time from the window of the cab, heading towards the airport. My heart is still a mess. But I’ll be fine. This story isn’t over yet. Stay with me.
©Mfon Etuk, 2016
Pain makes us stronger
Ever had one of those moments where it seems the world is crashing on you? Moments when you question everything around you including your faith? That earth shattering, throat thickening, tears flowing kinda pain that is simply unexplainable? I’m pretty sure we have all tasted a bit of the pain pie at some point. But there’s this Kelly Clarkson’s song that says ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and I find that to be true
I won’t lie and say that at the point of the pain you will feel strong. As a matter of fact, in my moments of pain and hurt, I’m the weakest of all; I sob, I sulk, I write and then I shut down. Literally, my mind shuts down as a defense mechanism from the pain.
How do we deal with the pain?
People have devised different ways of dealing with pain. For some, it is avoidance, some others it’s shutting the world out or just burying one’s self in the pain till it stops hurting. For me, it’s throwing pity parties; I’d line up depressing songs in a playlist and eat lots of junk food (my fav is ice cream and pizza). Funny, how I enjoy wallowing in such depression like a duck in a lake.
Create an outlet for the pain to flow out.
Please do not keep the pain bottled up within you. It would get full and explode like a volcanic eruption within you someday. Cry if you have to, hit the boxing bags if it makes you feel better, whatever you have to do to let the pain out, do it! And let it all go.
Now after the painful episode, tears and all, I go shopping. Shopping therapy works every time (except when you’re broke or under a tight budget-LOL). You could decide to hang out with friends, go for karaoke, go bowling, go hiking, go dancing, watch movies…whatever! Just make sure you have a good reason to stop drowning in your pool of despair.
I came across this interesting story about Samson who killed a lion and later went back to find honey in the carcass that was left behind.
Some days later when he came back to get her, he made a little detour to look at what was left of the lion. And there a wonder: a swarm of bees in the lion’s carcass—and honey! He scooped it up in his hands and kept going, eating as he went.
-Judges 14:8-9 (MSG)
God never wastes your pain
I haven’t had any kids (yet). But recently, my sister gave birth and she’s the first pregnant lady I have been privileged to spend some time with.
Birth pangs are simply indescribable. As strong as my sister was, the birth pangs were so severe that she wanted to scream, shove and push… Push, she did with every ounce of strength within her small frame. She pushed until his little adorable head popped out and the rest of the body slid out. Holding the cutest baby in the world in her arms, she quickly forgot about the pain and replaced the grimace on her face with a smile so wide! 🙂
God allows us experience pain so that he can birth his plans and purposes through us. Sometimes you have to go through trials and experience pain in order to build capacity to survive in life.
At the point of the pain, it’s really hard to see what good can come out of it. Most times I just want to give up and cry.
Looking back now, I can see the honey in my carcasses of pain
There are certain things I wouldn’t struggle with anymore because I’ve developed capacity to withstand them. For instance, I’ve come to understand that things won’t always go my way no matter how tightly I hold on to the control reins. And this has taught me to trust in God even when I feel everything slipping from my grasp.
Instead of brooding about the loss or gruesome pain within, why not take a detour to find the honey in the carcass? If we do not let the waves of pain overwhelm us, we’ll discover the surfboard of faith to rise above it, stronger and thankful that we overcame.
I don’t know what you’re going through right now but I need you to hold on. Just as the night doesn’t stop the sun from shining when it’s morning, so will the pain fade away when it’s time. I pray you find the honey in the carcass.
Have an awesome week ahead!
Lots of love ❤
Mfon Etuk, 2015
The word in itself is a very powerful one. It takes away the whole “dependent” from “I” meaning one no longer becomes that “independent” man or woman we crave to be, but rather we “depend” on others and “trust” them to either protect us, defend us, care for us, love us or even die for us.
No one is saying we shouldn’t trust. But rather trust the right person. Notice how there’s a “u” in the word ‘trUst’ rather than a “me”? That simply means that we are not meant to handle it all by ourselves. We are meant to let go and allow someone more reliable than we are to do the difficult tasks.
Trust goes beyond just saying you trust someone, it means believing and having faith in someone enough to leave your entire burden at their feet and letting them make things straight.
It’s the same way when it comes to our relationship with God. God is supreme. His love for us amounts to the number of billion stars we have in the sky and even more. Ever stopped to think about how He sent His only son to come and die for us?
“This is how much God loved the world: He gave His Son, His one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.” (John. 3:16, MSG).
In present times, and not just in Africa alone, so many parents (fathers to be precise), whine a lot about how much they want male children. Do you think if they finally have a male child then they would ever let him go? I think absolutely not! But here’s God with a thousand angels to choose from to accomplish His goal but He picked His only Son to come on earth and die for the sins of you and I.
Looking at it, if someone I knew did something that big for me just so I can know that he loves me that much and that he has also forgiven me for all the wrong I have done, I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t just give him my all and everything I have to be loyal to him in commitment and even in the most difficult of life issues!
God is my being. He formed me and therefore He knows me inside out more than anyone can, even much more than I do myself! The breath that I breathe is His and the life that I live was given to me by Him.
“And Jehovah God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.” (Gen. 2:7, ASV)
In other words, He alone knows the challenges of this life and how to handle them more than even our parents who were born in the 60’s or even earlier. I don’t need to worry about what to wear tomorrow or how I’m going to get to the place I’m going to or even what I should eat tomorrow because He said;
“Be not therefore anxious, saying, What shall we eat? Or, What shall we drink? Or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?”(Matt. 6:31, ASV)
Rather, all I need to do is just ask Him and ‘Trust’ that He will most definitely provide those things for me.
Yes, we are humans and we might not know it yet, but we actually do like to worry even to the point of “what color of underwear do I put on? I am not saying we shouldn’t be a little bothered (especially if it may seem somewhat impossible), but why not leave it to the ‘All Wise’ and ‘All Knowing God’? After all, that’s the favorite word that makes Him show Himself- “Impossible.” He would want us to say “this thing is impossible for me, but Nothing is impossible for God.” I’d like to think that those who came up with the phrase “nothing is impossible” actually coined it from that Bible passage: “with God ALL things are possible” (Matt. 19:26), therefore “nothing is impossible.”
Notice how the passage says ALL? Yes, ALL! Not some or a few or little things but ALL! My my, I would definitely want and love to have that one as a keeper. So why not try something different or do something you might have been scared of doing before. Provoke God. Tell Him that you’re extremely tired of carrying a truckload of over flowing problems and you’re ready to just drop all of them at His feet and let Him handle them Himself. Tell Him you’re ready to TRUST Him enough for Him to pick something beautiful for you to wear tomorrow. You TRUST Him enough for Him to give you a sumptuous and delicious meal and also you TRUST Him enough for Him to give you a most suitable, comfortable, safe and free ride to your destination.
The actual truth of the matter is that God has never failed before and not just for our sake but also for His name’s sake, He won’t start failing now. I’ll leave you with an assignment to do, take a week. Dedicate it to God and place all those numerous worries on Him. Don’t worry, He doesn’t mind, He actually really LOVES it when we do so. In fact, He has been waiting patiently for us to ask Him(in His mind He’ll be like ‘I thought you’d never ask’ with a huge smile on His face).
The only thing we would have to be concerned about is giving Him what I call ‘TPW’ which stands for; Thanksgiving, Praise and Worship. Can you imagine that? Having only to just give God TPW in exchange for solving those numerous X and Y questions we bother about. It’s completely mind blowing!
Trust Him. Even more than you would trust that boyfriend or girlfriend you’re dating, or you would trust the very woman who gave birth to you or the man who has taken care of you. If at the end of the week nothing works out or nothing good comes out of it, then, well He isn’t God. But if everything comes to you faster and much better and more beautiful than it would have had you done it on your own, then I think it’s time to start serving God with no doubt in your heart!
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Written by Omle Uche (www.diaryofablueblood.wordpress.com)