I picked up my phone in my usual mindless fashion, scrolling through vacations I could not afford yet, and cute puppies doing their cute things. Everything represented a place or state I wasn’t in, but wanted to be in. As I scrolled with increased speed, a caption caught my eye. Yes, Instablog has a way of writing sensational captions that sometimes never relate to the story. This one was different. It was about a cryptic note left by someone who ended it all.
Isn’t it sad that it takes stories like that to stop us in our tracks?
You know, like you’re deep in a pit and no one even knows you’re there,
Like the grave is a resting place and life is for the restless,
Like you’re speaking but no one is listening,
Like you’re dying and no one is seeing.
I see you.
I hear you.
And it sucks that you feel this way.
I wish you never did,
I wish your smile never set like the sun,
I wish your laughter didn’t seem like the fading sound of distant waves,
I wish your heart wasn’t hard from all the broken pieces that couldn’t be glued back together.
I wish I could take your pain away,
Absorb the pain like a sponge until you’re free from it,
I wish you didn’t know what it meant to walk under a dark cloud even when the sun was shining overhead,
I wish you didn’t know what it felt like to cry ‘Eli Eli Lama Sabachtani!’
That moment where you begin to question the efficacy of the words ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you,’ while reality screams otherwise.
But you have to feel these things,
For that’s how you’ll know how to comfort others who feel same.
If I hadn’t gone through them, I wouldn’t know what to say to you.
So to answer your question, live or leave? I think it’s best we live ready to leave when our appointment with death comes, as it’s appointed for men once to die, but after this the judgment (Heb 9:27).
So live, my darling! For life is already fleeting as it it seems.
It was my second day in the ward. I could see all the distressed faces— my mom, my dad, and even my brothers looked sad. I shut my eyes hard, trying to picture myself in another place. A peaceful place. A quiet place. Where is that white light they say people see when they’re about to crossover?
So I had my first Instagram question Poll yesterday! Yes, I’m a millennial with an old soul (and still trying to catch up on all these new features on social media- no judging!) Anyway, here was my question: “would you say that life as we know it now is more depressing than it was for generations before us?” Read more
I woke up one morning feeling empty. One would think to feel empty is to feel lighter and even relieved. On the contrary, my body felt like a thousand boulders when I got outta bed. I tried to adjust my eyes to the blankness of my existence. With a deep sigh I began what seemed to be an endless humdrum day. Read more