I never want you to feel this way,

You know, like you’re deep in a pit and no one even knows you’re there,

Like the grave is a resting place and life is for the restless,

Like you’re speaking but no one is listening,

Like you’re dying and no one is seeing.

I see you.

I hear you.

And it sucks that you feel this way.

I wish you never did,

I wish your smile never set like the sun,

I wish your laughter didn’t seem like the fading sound of distant waves,

I wish your heart wasn’t hard from all the broken pieces that couldn’t be glued back together.

I wish I could take your pain away,

Absorb the pain like a sponge until you’re free from it,

I wish you didn’t know what it meant to walk under a dark cloud even when the sun was shining overhead,

I wish you didn’t know what it felt like to cry ‘Eli Eli Lama Sabachtani!’

That moment where you begin to question the efficacy of the words ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you,’ while reality screams otherwise.

But you have to feel these things,

For that’s how you’ll know how to comfort others who feel same.

If I hadn’t gone through them, I wouldn’t know what to say to you.

So to answer your question, live or leave? I think it’s best we live ready to leave when our appointment with death comes, as it’s appointed for men once to die, but after this the judgment (Heb 9:27).

So live, my darling! For life is already fleeting as it it seems.

Love,

M.❤️