Posted in Other fun stuffs

7 Lessons on Adulting

adult
Photo credit: memes.com

I won’t count myself as one who is a Pro in adulting, heck!  I still feel like a teenager sometimes 😂 But I guess crossing from early twenties to mid twenties comes with its own dose of wisdom.  Here are some of the things I’ve learned so far: Continue reading “7 Lessons on Adulting”

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Posted in Inspiration

Need For Speed

nfs
Photo Credit- giphy.com

If my life were a game, it’d probably be ‘Need for Speed’. I like being on the fast lane. I absolutely hate being stuck in traffic (who doesn’t?). I like fast food. I hate having to wait for stuffs to be done. I always ask, ‘Can we speed up this process?’ I walk fast. I have a feeling my wedding song will be upbeat so I quickly march to the altar and get it over with (LOL). I believe slow internet connection is worse than a zombie take over! And having a slow system almost gets me nuts!

The world is on a fast lane. People are hurrying. Books are getting smaller (get to the point already). Technology changes every day! New trends emerge. Fashion is on a runway. We’re all moving so fast and it’s getting harder to catch up!

Is this limited to millennials who didn’t have to use a pen to patiently rewind a cassette tape or wait for the cable TV to come on at a particular time in black and white? Not really. Even the older ones who saw those things have joined the fast lane. Tryna keep up with trends as if they were the Kardashians.

When was the last time you allowed a photographer take your picture at a studio and wait for the printed copy? (Why do that when you can just take a selfie in a split second?)  

Where are we rushing to? Are we just hurrying to the grave?

Everything God made has its times and seasons. The earth isn’t rotating faster than it should. We do not have less than 365 days in a year or less than 24 hours a day. A woman still stays pregnant for 9 months. Nature isn’t in a hurry, so why the rush? We rush through different seasons of our lives. We rush through childhood, anxious for teenage hood. We rush through that as well to adulthood. We rush through school-years to get jobs and we also rush from one job to the next. Where are we rushing to?

Truth is, the fast lane will keep going on but you don’t always have to be on it. Sometimes you just need to pause. Rewind. Reflect. Notice the butterfly as it pollinates flowers. Notice the fly trying to escape from a spider’s web. Notice your wife’s new hairstyle and your husband’s new interest. Notice your children’s new friends. Notice the poor in need of your help. Notice the hurt behind your friend’s smiles.

Slow down and enjoy every moment. You’ll never have the lost time so make the best use of it. Reduce the regrets of not doing the things that really matter. Make a proper three course home meal and enjoy with your loved ones. Take photographs and have them printed. Travel and explore the vast world. Hold up on the instant messages and have long conversations. Write handwritten notes. Be kind to people you meet. Spend time with God. Smile genuinely and be fully present in every moment! 

 We’re all gonna die someday, so why hurry to the grave?

©Mfon Etuk, 2016.

Posted in Featured, Weekend Extra

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IN YOUR 20S.

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  1. Love and honor your mother and father. Learn from their mistakes. I know it sounds like nags but it’d save you the headaches in your thirties and beyond. Besides you don’t want your children to dishonor you also I’m sure. We often realize too late their importance in our lives.
  2. You are so much more talented than you’ll ever know. You don’t need to pay your way through protocols. You don’t need to sleep with your boss/ supervisor to get a promotion at work or better grades at school. Burn the late-night candles instead; put extra time to study and practice until you master your skill. Hard work still pays well and does not kill.It’s sweeter to enjoy what you have put your good work and effort into in peace than having scares of karma.
  3. Support, support, support. As a lady, women can actually build strong support networks. Don’t let few ladies with the “Pull Her Down” {PHD} syndromes discourage you from cultivating true relationship with your female friends.  Everyone needs it.
  4. Learn to feel your feels. Study and master your emotions and know how to react to different situations. Be a master of your expressions.
  5. This notion that women are the criers and men are the strong support systems need to be reconstructed. We all have the glands in us means we are both to use them to express ourselves. Men can cry too. Yes, they can and they should.
  6. Let go of past hurts. You cannot move forward if you keep looking back. Holding on to bitter experiences and regrets will stale your future. The only thing you should take out of a hurting experience is the lessons learnt because hurting people hurt people. People are going to hurt you; you choose how to react.
  7. Still speaking on the past and forgiveness, learn to forgive yourself. Learn to pardon yourself for the mistakes, the bad choices. Just go easy on yourself because you are your only cheerleader.
  8. Train your mind and intuition to a level that it gives you signs and warnings. This can be done by studying yourself intricately under different conditions. It’s part of maturity.
  9. Walk away from deceit. Still flowing from the above, when your mind is developed on your ideals and what you are about, you are able to depict the truth. Know when someone is flossing and is harmful or toxic. Stay away from them. Especially before getting into relationships or business partnerships.
  10. This life you have been given is a unique gift. Unwrap it, live it to the fullest. Nurture yourself and don’t be careless with it. Start early in making proper plans.
  11. Learn the basic skills and let yourself grow – from how to keep your apartment and its entirety clean, cook, socialize and network to how to drive a car.
  12. Don’t do drugs. It kills from the inside out. Read books, it fortifies your mind. Dance as often as you can, it liberates your spirit, soul and body.
  13. Learn to laugh at yourself. It is a good way to build a healthy self-esteem. Encourage yourself more than you beat yourself up. It’s really not that deep.
  14. Fear of the future. It is a state of mind you must learn to tame. Don’t let fear pull the carpet from under your feet. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. Think positive thoughts about the future and when those butterflies and unsure moments come, acknowledge them but believe in the greater future ahead of you.
  15. Learn to exhale, love deeply and be kind to others; especially those of low estate, and the lowest of low. The greatest currency in the world is Kindness. It never depreciates. Everyone can spend it. It yields greater return on investments.
  16. Do not compare yourself to others. It will do you no good. I know how hard this is but when you catch yourself doing it, please STOP for comparing yourselves one to another is foolishness.
  17. Eat healthy. Exercise. Take time to dance and play. Learn to cook for yourself. Don’t rely on noodles alone. The cooking skill will be useful in future.
  18. Your time alone with yourself is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. You want to be present for others, you want to live long, and you want peace and joy, take time for you. You can’t heal another if you are sick yourself.
  19. Prayer is the secret code. It works every time. Keep up with your faith in God and always have the courage to use your voice wisely and strongly. Enjoy the highs and lows that come with being in your 20s but don’t be afraid to grow older. Live life to the fullest.
  20. Acknowledge your emptiness without God. In our frailty is where He shows up the most. He loves you so much. I can barely explain the love.

Thank you for reading!

Written by Nancy Ufia.

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Photo Credit: punkmeetspink.wordpress.com

*****

I was so happy to have Nancy write for the blog and I hope this list helps you as you navigate through life 🙂 

Stay beautiful!

~M.

Posted in Inspiration

The Outside World

The outside world also known as the ‘real world’ is a phrase I grew up with. It connotes the place where the magic happens, where freedom from parents and school authorities reigned. I went to Christian private schools (both secondary school and University) and a lot of times they would say stuff like ‘…when you get to the outside world’. It was frustrating to hear that phrase in university where other people seemed to be finally enjoying the outside world while we lived somewhat caged in by rules and more rules. But then again, I loved my school (Shout out to all who finished from Covenant University).

My school could easily be compared to the Utopian society; everything we needed was provided; there was no traffic; the environment was serene and sane; you could easily connect with like minds and sustain such relationships. Most interestingly was the way our spiritual lives were molded; we went to church almost as much as we went for classes; you could see people around speaking in tongues without looking weird. If I’m being honest, it felt like a lot of ‘church’ then. But in retrospect, I gained more than I could imagine!

Now I’m finally in the outside world. The place we counted down to, days to our graduation. The place we always dreamed of! Where we would finally be free from the clutches of rules and regulations to do what we wanted, when we wanted. Where we would finally be seen and respected as adults! Oh the expectations were so high! The excitement peaked!

COUNTDOWN-DAINTYM

Almost three years down the road and I’ll give anything to go back to the serene and secure four walls of my Alma mater; to be cradled and nurtured in the midst of other people who spoke faith and walked in style without feeling ‘overdressed’ (my school was pretty fashion oriented I must say). But I can’t go back! Even if I did, it won’t be the same. All my friends are in different places now, there’s no going back 😦

What ticked me off about the outside world? You may ask. Well, to be honest, the little things. The harsh realities of the world outside; the fact that some people are extremely cold and mean. Survival of the fittest is as literal as it sounds! Everyone thinks of how to survive, how to make more money and buy more stuffs even if it costs them their relationships with others and with God. Don’t even get me started on how it’s ‘lame’ not to have some bad history to brag about. You’ll probably hear folks say ‘you haven’t lived yet’ just because you haven’t done crazy stuffs! Painfully, you may just be coming from one pumped up spiritual service to get into a bus with ungodly music booming and gently sifting into your system. A world where evil prevails and good is slowly going extinct. A world where it pays to join the worldly trend than stay on the spiritual bend. A world where I am an oddity. To be honest, the crazy out here is overwhelming!

In the midst of all this, I’m reminded of this;

Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.  If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand.  Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matt 5:13-16 (MSG)

You can’t easily identify a light in the midst of other lights. The impact is minimal. To shine as light, you have to be in the darkness. And the way I see it, the outside world is pretty dark! To be the salt of the earth, you’ve gotta step out of the salt shaker (as comfortable as it is in there) and seek to add flavour to a rotten world.

I understand how tempting it is to dim your light in the darkness so they don’t hate you. If they hated Jesus, what makes you invincible? Oh, dear one! They will hate you for beaming your light in areas where they would rather hide in the dark. But that shouldn’t discourage you! Someday, they would come to the light. The bitterness will someday give way to your salt. You can never deny the power of light and salt! My pastor said ‘salt does not have to be as much as food to make an impact’. And that’s so true! You may feel you’re so small and insignificant in this large world. But you’re not! You can always affect the little corner where you find yourself.

So shine bright! Add flavour to the earth!  Be kind even when everyone is mean. Don’t allow the outside world harden your hearts. Don’t let the gloom overcome the joy of the Lord in you! Smile some more! Give some more! Love some more! Don’t be afraid of the outside world, for He is with you. 🙂

Happy New Month!

©Mfon Etuk, 2016

DAINTYM

****Song for the day: Outsiders by Lecrae ***