I went shopping with my sisters and within a couple of minutes they had found the dresses they wanted to get. I was the only one left, as usual. Were my stakes too high? Was I being too selective? I pondered as we moved from store to store. I could see the exasperation on their faces and I felt bad. Truth is, I hadn’t found the right one and I wasn’t going to settle. There had been times where I settled for the ‘available’ in the absence of the ‘desirable’ and ended up not using it. Settling never gave me fulfilment; it only left me with wasted resources and another dress I wasn’t going to wear.

We kept moving around for long frustrating hours, with sweat trickling down our faces as though we were under the rain, completely drenched, hungry and jaded.

Just at the point of giving up, I saw a dress in a store across the street. It was so gorgeous and appealing! I ran with a beaming smile towards it. It took a lot of self-control to stop myself from hugging it. I brought out my card to quickly pay for it when a thought came that I should try it on. I went humming into the dressing room. I wore the dress and saw how beautiful it was in the mirror. Oh wait! I hadn’t zipped it. My sister tried to help me zip it but it was too tight, I could barely breath with each attempt at zipping it. OMG! I was desperate for it to size me, you could clearly see the struggle. Tried all I could including tummy tucking, but it just wouldn’t close! It wasn’t the one for me, though it was the one I desperately wanted.

At this point I was ready to settle for any dress whether it was my color or size or whatever! I had lost hope.

I’ll pause there for a minute while I try to use this analogy in our relationships. Is there really a right one for us? Well, personally I feel there are many people in the world who can be the type we want. It’s just harder to find the one who fits us perfectly like a glove. Most times it’s really frustrating finding that one. Most people lack the patience and settle for any Dick, Harry or Maryjane that comes their way. Sometimes it could be a dress that is your size but a color that is your least favorite, or a dress that doesn’t even fit, yet we still settle. Struggling to make it work even though it’s obviously not working!

My sisters, though exhausted and hungry still tried to cheer me up, encouraging me not to settle for the dress that clearly didn’t fit. Was I too early or too late to meet the right one? I pondered as I walked away with my shoulders slumped.

Went to a couple more stores which all had lots of gorgeous dresses; but I was too hung up on the one I thought was the right one but couldn’t fit, that I failed to notice the beautiful dresses that beckoned to me, each unique its own way.

Pause again… Are there some people we are still hung up on? Perhaps exes or crushes that left us heartbroken? Ofcourse, there are people we can’t forget! How can you completely forget your first love? Even when you tell yourself you’ve moved on, your mind still brings the images of what you once had…even if it was just for a second. Not completely letting go of these exes puts a blindfold on our eyes that hinders us from seeing the other many possibilities God has in store for us. Sometimes we even find ourselves judging the next one based on the standards of the one we thought was right and perfect for us, thereby neglecting the uniqueness in the new one.

We finally gave up looking for my dress and started towards the parking lot when I spotted a tiny shop. A little voice within me told me to check it out. Doubts clouded my mind…What would this tiny shop have that the big stores didn’t? I told my sisters to go on as I took a peek into the shop. I did a quick sweep of the entire shop in one glance. Yep! I was right; there was nothing in it for me.

As though the shop owner read my mind, he told me to wait as he went searching for a dress he was sure I would love. I folded my hands, wondering how he was going to impress me. After a couple of seconds that seemed like hours, he brought out the dress. My jaw dropped in amazement. The dress was in all its glory as I wore it. It softly teased my body, fitting me in all the right places, the color was my favorite, and everything else was perfect! I wasn’t hungry or tired anymore. Finding the one was so worth the wait and stress! I left the shop with my well packed shopping bag and a huge grin playing across my face, so happy I didn’t settle.

The right one for you might just be in that place you look down upon, that tribe you dislike for no reason, that race that you would never want to be associated with… Don’t allow your prejudice or previous disappointments and setbacks stop you from meeting the right one and fulfilling the purpose God has for you. As the New Year opens up, be expectant in the great surprises God has stored up for you and surely your expectations will not be cut off! Ciao! 🙂

~M.

Photo credit: http://s.ericdress.com