I see her every day. Playing at the same spot. Alone.
She intrigues me by her frailty. Her shoulder slopes like she’s been carrying some burden. Maybe she has. She has been writing something on the ground. She always does. My feet begin to move on their own accord, leading me to her.
‘Hello, what are you writing?’ I ask.
‘I’m drawing, not writing’ she blandly replies.
Obviously, I could see she was drawing. She drew skulls. She also drew what looked like disfigured humans with hanging limbs.
What she drew bothered me. How could a child be so disturbed?
‘Mom!’ I could hear the screeching sound of my daughter’s voice from behind me. I immediately retreated to where she was.
‘What were you doing with that weirdo?’ She asked with a grimace.
If my 9 year old child could call her ‘weird’, then there was a problem.
‘Why do you call her weird?’ I couldn’t help but ask.
‘Well, she sits at the back of the class, she doesn’t talk to anyone and when she does, she’s rude. She also talks to herself like a total weirdo.’ My daughter responded.
‘Is that all?’ I asked, obviously disappointed.
‘Mom, nobody talks to her.’
‘Who are her parents?’ I inquired further.
‘She’s only got a mom. My classmates say she’s a bastard’
Instinctively, I corrected my child and told her never to call the girl derogatory names.
‘Mom, why are you getting all worked up about her? She’s no good news.’
I stared at my daughter for a brief moment. A part of me wanted to smack her for the guts she had to keep replying me. At least that’s what my mother would have done to put me back on the right track. Doing that right here would only be my ticket to jail. Thanks to the laws in the States.
I ponder on a lot of things like what would happen to my African culture and traditions. I left home for a little above ten years. I took up an English name, got married to an amazing Nigerian who spent his whole life in the States. My skin is black but my mind is white. Not in the terms of black is for wrong and white for right. More in terms of being westernized while my skin cries for home.
Back to me being stymied from spanking my child. I turned back to look at the object of my thoughts. She had disappeared from the playground.
‘Karen, when we get home, go and search for 20 bible verses on showing kindness to people’ I faced my daughter squarely. ‘Don’t use the internet for this’ I quickly added.
Her face fell as she got into the front seat of the car.
‘I’m sorry mom’. She was smart enough to know when I was upset. At least the thousands of dollars spent on her education paid off.
It’s day errr…I’ve lost count. The letter however is P for Poems. 😉
I read this really lovely, thought provoking poem by Nikkita Robert and I thought to share. To visit her blog, please click here. She’s got mind blowing poems, you’ll thank me later 🙂
Sometimes, it is better to leave than stick around. If we’re honest sometimes being the one who held out the longest isn’t a worthy crown. And sometimes, know when the game’s up and when the referee calls the end. Sometimes, know when to walk away, keep your head held high and don’t even say goodbye!
This poem had me pondering for days. The lines are full of depth! I just couldn’t help sharing! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Thanks again Nikkita!
Please if you have any questions to ask me, kindly drop them in the comment section or send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. I would really appreciate this as it would help in tomorrow’s post 😀 Feel free to ask anything and I’ll do my best to answer them! Brace yourself! Thanks!
‘It’s over’ she screamed as she banged her bag on the coffee table right in between her boyfriend and the girl whose hands he was previously holding.
‘Babe…’ he tried to start explaining. Shock and fear registered across his face. ‘It’s not what you think it is’
‘Oh really?’ Elizabeth glared down at the other girl who seemed more interested in sipping her cup of coffee than in the ruckus ensuing.
‘She’s just my friend’ he blatantly lied to her face without blinking.
Elizabeth couldn’t believe it. The relationship had been going through ups and downs; a little more downs than ups but she was naive enough to trust him. To believe every lie he told. Until the truth broke out.
The truth, they say, sets one free. But she felt more bound than free. She desperately wanted to believe him. To forgive him. But for how long? How long would she keep patching it up before finally accepting the hard truth?
‘It’s over Sam.’
Tears stung her face as the sun tortured her on her way out of the restaurant. The little teardrops glistened as she walked briskly.
‘Lizzy, wait! It’s not over until we say it is.’
She stopped in her tracks and turned to see him on his knees with a ring in his hand. All her friends were holding up placards with the question ‘Will you marry me?’
Hope you enjoyed the little piece of fiction. I intend to play around with this a bit more before the end of the challenge. Watch this space! 😉
How’s the weekend going? It’s day 14 of the A-Z blogging challenge and just before we take the Sunday break, I would like to leave you with this little post.
I like this song ‘Who you are’ by Jesse J, partly because it talks about identity crisis and stuff. I was listening to it the other day and a line struck me; ‘It’s okay not to be okay.’
Is it really?
Truth is we often pretend we are okay when we are not. We smile outwardly while we die on the inside. Why do we do that to ourselves? Maybe because society has told us ‘big girls don’t cry’ or to ‘grow up’. We’ve also heard stuffs like ‘your tears won’t change anything ‘ or ‘just suck it in’ and a lot more. Society puts so much pressure on us to be perfect. To be so perfect we don’t break. We absorb everything like a sponge. Hide everything so no one knows we struggle with stuff-lest they tag us imperfect, unfit, or different. Heck! No one wants to be called a ‘sissy’ or a ‘loser’.
So people go about wearing masks. A woman could be in a destructive relationship but still use a concealer to hide the wounds and put on a smile so no one knows. A father could be in some deep financial crisis but keep faking a smile just so he doesn’t lose his family’s respect. A boy could be bullied in school but still put up a front so his friends think he’s tough.
But I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to put up a show for everyone when you feel terrible on the inside. You don’t have to feign a smile when you’re crying inside. You don’t have to look like you’ve got it all together when you don’t. Don’t lie and say you’re fine when you’re far from fine. It’s okay not to be okay.
Whatever it is you may be going through, let it run its course. Cry if you have to. Scream! If you must. Don’t bottle it up ’cause it’ll only lead to implosion.
Hey, stop holding back the sobs because you fear you’ll disappoint them. It’s okay not to be okay- because soon you will be. As I often say, no matter how dark the night is, it doesn’t stop the day from breaking forth when it’s time.
Soon you will be okay. Soon you’ll smile again without pretending. But you only get there when you admit you’re hurt and stop covering up. Let God know your struggles and stop struggling on your own. When you tell Him ‘hey, I’m not okay but I want to be’, He’ll be more than pleased to make you ‘not just okay’ but perfectly and completely whole.
I didn’t plan on writing a long post as I’m usually lazy on the weekends, but He always has His way 😊
I pray for everyone who isn’t okay right now to get to the point of truly being okay with no pretense. God loves you!
Have a super duper weekend! ❤✌
See you on Monday! (as you know the blogging challenge excludes Sundays) 😊
*Spend all my savings on travelling to new countries
*Forgive- even the most grievous things anyone can do to me
*Invest more time and resources to Kingdom service
*Write and publish a book
*Fall in love
*Travel by sea
*Go on one last rollercoaster ride
So many things to do in a week; I know right! There’s a lot more on that list, I just tried to summarise it for the purpose of this post. Some of the items on the list are hilarious. Others seem unattainable in a week. But what does this mean? Would these things make me happier and more fulfilled? Honest answer, yes! I can imagine how ‘alive’ I would be while skydiving or travelling. Imagine how happy I would be if I forgave so much, spent more time in Kingdom service or telling my loved ones I love them and truly mean it.
I can imagine my life when I finally begin living.
Some of us wait until death to start living. We wait for ‘our least days’ to live our ‘best years’. So what will be read at your funeral? “She was a good girl who lived a routine life of work-home-church-repeat.” Who touched how many lives?
Life is for living. And truly living is beyond ourselves. We live for others; we live for assignments bigger than us; we live to put smiles on other people’s faces, to help lift the load from the elderly, to feed and clothe the needy and provide shelter for the homeless.
I can’t emphasize it enough; life is beyond you and your personal needs and mundane tasks. It’s far beyond that! How many lives do you reach in a day? What impressions do you leave in the hearts of onlookers? What little change do you make every day to the environment you find yourself? DO you leave it better or worse?
Life is for living. Go on that mountain climb, take that world tour you always wanted, eat that new food, read that book you always wanted to, call up your loved ones and tell them you love them, don’t be afraid to love and be loved.
You are not just a statistic. You’ve been given life- live it to the full! Remember living life to the full doesn’t involve engaging in destructive habits but opening your life to the needs around so others can be blessed through you. Living life to the full also means taking care of that one life- do what makes you happy, pursue your dreams and passions, have fun, make others happy, don’t overwork, have ‘just because’ moments to chill out. At the end of the day, You Only Live Once (YOLO)
Letter K is definitely for Kirk Franklin, one of the dopest gospel artists I know! 😊
I grew up listening to Kirk Franklin’s songs. I still remember choreographing some of them as a kid. Some 20 years down the line, I’m still intrigued by his songs and how God has kept him relevant.
Growing up then, I knew all the lyrics to ‘Revolution’ and some other songs. We had tapes back then and they would come with this folded paper that had all the lyrics. Dang! I feel quite old remembering that. 😁 (shout out to all the 90s kids)
I literally grew up to almost all his songs. ‘Cause I remember listening to them as a kid, as a teenager and now as a young adult. Dude! Are you my ‘fairy-god-father’ or something? *thinking out loud* 😃
The other day on BET, I was watching the ‘Celebration of Gospel’ where Kirk Franklin presented some songs from his last album. He didn’t look old and worn out. He was still jumping and dancing all over the place! It’s amazing! At 46, he’s still really awesome!
While for me, I do a little thing and I feel tired and worn out. I face a bad break and I coil up at the curb, washing my face with tears while life passes me by. How pathetic! If people twice my age are still crazy about God, what excuse do I have?
Praising God shouldn’t only happen when things are rosy and the sky is blue. We should be able to thank Him when it seems like there’s absolutely nothing to be thankful for- because, there is! There’s always something to be grateful for.
Another reason why I really love Kirk Franklin’s songs is the honesty in them. He writes some really deep songs for the brokenhearted as well as some really cool songs for those whose spirits are high.
I still have some songs from his last album ‘Losing My Religion ‘ on repeat. You have no idea how much songs like ‘My world needs you right now’ and ‘Pray for me’ helped me through the bad days. (You should check out that album if you haven’t).
I bless God for his life and the lives of all the artists who show that gospel music is not ‘boring’.😉
Who is your favourite gospel artist? Got any recommended song I should listen to? Please share.