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‘Forgive and forget!’ I chanted that a lot in Sunday School. As I grew older, I discovered my ‘words spoke louder than my actions’ instead of vice versa. We forgive…but do we really forget? Does the brain have the capacity to delete the stuffs we don’t want to remember? What of the times when the image repeatedly shows up in the real world, causing our brains to remember what wrong was done, what hurt was caused?
It is the godly way to forgive and forget but I won’t act as a saint and say its as easy as ‘a, b, c…’ To be honest, forgetting the hurt or wrong someone has caused is as hard as forgetting your name! Sometimes you may think you’ve forgiven and forgotten but all it takes to remember is just to hear that person’s name mentioned or seeing an image of the person…then the pain rushes back, the anger and resentment show up. I know that feeling, way too much.
So what new thing do I have to say? Do I hypocritically say you should forgive and forget? Don’t let these images come back? Force our brain to delete these hurtful memories? Pretending this pain doesn’t exist? Saying all of these would be like preaching what I’m not living, which is the hypocrite’s anthem!
It’s human to feel hurt and pain. It’s human to feel this person deserves to be as hurt as we are…believe me, the taste of revenge is sweet but bitterness always lingers at the end, one that would make you wanna throw up. Yuck! So what then after this person has gotten hurt too? Does the loathing desire for revenge fizzle out? Or does it grow stronger like a vampire searching for more blood after the first taste of blood? Is that really all there is?
Why not try something new like deliberately letting go? Choosing to permanently delete the files labelled ‘hurts’ and the folders labelled ‘pain’ along with the revenge app?
Letting go of the pain, the tension that comes when we see these people that have hurt us. To be honest, it is not going to be easy but it’s a step in the right direction of forgetting the hurts and pains. Let go of that unrequited love, let go of that abusive father, let go of that back stabbing friend, let go of that wicked colleague, let go of that mother that didn’t care…mentally click the delete button in your brain and make sure it doesn’t remain in the recycle bin.
Once you succeed in deleting these bad memory files that often cause our systems to crash, you begin to enjoy freedom! Freedom from storing unnecessary garbage in your brain(it’s called GIGO because its garbage in, garbage out and not garbage stored), creating more space for peace and joy. You could see the ‘memory free’ icon changing from red to blue. Yes, this is true.
My earnest desire is that you live happy and have a fabulous life!
Mfon Etuk, 2014.
I was going through my wardrobe one boring day and noticed I had lots of T-shirts I wasn’t wearing anymore. Reason being that they were baggy and made me look really fat(no girl likes looking fat). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not slim but as I always say, chubby is cute! So long as I don’t look like a huge burger! 😛
So I’m looking at these shapeless Tees and wondering what to do with them. A friend suggests I make cut outs from them and the idea grew in my mind. I started learning how to make cut outs online. I bet I didn’t research for my project as much as I did to learn how to make cut outs. Thanks to the helpful blogs, youtube videos and hubpages, I finally made my first cut out tee! And another and another! I began to think about incorporating other shapes and styles. I pray I don’t run out of Tshirts! 🙂
Its fun to make cut out tees, especially if you’re bored like me. As I always say, ‘boredom breeds creativity’. Have a nice day pals!
Simple steps in making cut out shirts 😉
I have a big heart for you! ^.^
It’s always my desire that you live fabulous lives!
A saying goes ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’, and as much as I agree, I must add ‘the cover of a book must match its contents’
Okay, so I know this could stir up some arguments or rather some brilliant discourse. Literally, I wouldn’t read a book with an unattractive cover. That’s the truth. So even though the contents may be really great, I would miss it and could care less because the cover sucked!
Now let’s bring this analogy of the book and its cover to us. You’re smart, intelligent, beautiful on the inside, and you’re fun to be with…but no one actually ‘wants’ to be with you. Ever asked why? Quick answer, check your cover! Does it yell am boring, insecure, not smart, with a wrong fashion sense and so on…?!
Lots of people pay less attention to the cover the book. While building the contents is very important, making the cover as pretty on the outside is also necessary.
Wonder why you’re still single, unemployed, not easily approached…? Please check your cover!
While some books have hard covers, others are made of paper backs. We select the books we read unconsciously by the cover. There’s a way bestsellers look and that’s why they are called bestsellers! They aren’t unattractive or boring. They have that magnetic feel that pulls you to the book.
Dressing is a huge part of the packaging process. It is fondly said ‘the way you dress is the way you would be addressed’ and I have to add this ‘dress the way you want people to see you’. Lots of people wear funny stuffs and later feel judged for it. Well, if I see you in total black with dark make up and lots of piercing, its normal for me to think you’re Gothic! But on a deeper look, not all who dress that way are really gloomy.
Let your dressing show who you are on the inside. If you’re decent and modest at heart, why fool the populace and reduce your chances by wearing indecent clothes?
I hear of guys who do have the money to put on good clothing but would rather spend the money on video games and risk coming out looking like they’ve got no future ambitions…how’s a lady supposed to trip for you?! Some use the flimsy excuse that the girl has gotta be more into him than into his appearance. While that is true, I must say a girl won’t want to go past the cover if it is repulsive, no matter how attractive the inside could be!
It’s safe to say lots of people have lost job opportunities because of their covers. While the CV is extremely beautiful, the person the employers see in front of them is totally the opposite. The outfit is appalling, the hair is something else! Gosh! The breath is another ball game! These employers take note of all these things and conclude based on the unsavory cover of the book. Need I tell you what that conclusion is?
Then there is the distracting dressing where everything one puts on distracts the audience from what he or she is saying. Don’t let your cover be too distracting! There are some books which have really flashy covers with so much going on…I go through such books and don’t remember the contents, just the cover.
Yes I want you to design your book cover in a very pleasing way but please don’t let it outshine the inside! Imagine a getting a present on Christmas day. A well wrapped present, beautiful on the outside, you can’t even wait to open it. You quickly tear off the wrapping sheets and voila! Its a pen. Not a gold pen, not even a ball pen, just a regular pen. Am sure you would be disappointed and wonder why there was so much wrapping sheet. Your friend could have just given you the pen without the wrapping sheet. That’s the same feeling when you see a really cute book cover with absolutely no content. The kinda book you sleep through!
Friends, not to be harsh or anything, I just want you to pay more attention to the cover of your book so that people would love to read you. How do you dress? How do you talk? Do you have manners? Are you insultive? Do you talk too much? Have people constantly complained about your style? Take some time out today and do a self check! Your outside has gotta be as attractive as your inside! In the immortal words of Steve Harris, never dress like a suspect and expect people to treat you like a prospect.
It’s my desire that your live a fabulous life!
Mfon Etuk, 2014.
I never thought I will share this,
Like been in the abyss,
But it remaining with me is useless,
It may seem am letting out too much,
Just follow me closely don’t rush,
Everyone loves a happy child,
So guess when I became mild,
People just felt I was one of a kind,
Oblivious of the marathon on my mind,
I remembered vividly,
Clearer than a high definition Tevee,
How my innocence was ruptured and turn apart,
The first deep cut to my heart,
What’s the use of details,
When the deed has been done,
But my life had barely begun,
I was only 9, yet everyone assumed I was fine
They say lightening never struck a spot twice,
Guess my case, that saying didn’t hold true,
Cause how do you explain getting rapped,
In your first year at school,
By a brother in same fellowship just because I wasn’t ready for a relationship
Abortion, infections, diseases were comic relief to my grief,
I led a normal life on the outside,
People wised to swap places with me,
But within I was a prisoner who needed a help and rehab,
Suicide was all I contemplated on the inside
How could life be so unfair,
All this just too much for my share,
The pains I had to go through was like a pin in a haystack,
Whenever the mental images of my past flashed by,
I appeared healthy yet terribly sick,
Worse off, not even the one I married had a clue
If they define Health as a state of being sound, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and otherwise,
Guess its wise to say by that definition we are all sick one way or another,
So its pointless judging another,
She’s got HIV, He’s got Ebola,
Its only a matter of time before both bid the world goodbye
Mental images are hardest to erase,
Unlike a memory card that can be formatted or crashed,
These images stay with you till your last breathe,
The only known panacea is constantly renewing your mind with the world while on earth,
I was a victim for some, others I was the cause,
But in all I was not under any curse,
Though it took me time to get my life back on course,
I surely never lived my life on pause
My complete health was restored when I got addicted to him,
He restored my broken heart and bind my wounds,
His love for me a better picture to behold,
Compared to my tales of old filled with woes,
He freed me from the prison I was in,
My life he changed and made brand new,
Your case may not be pathetic as mine,
But you can never be guilty when the plaintiff and judge are on your side,
Its no obstruction of justice,
But a reminder of how great He is,
Your mental illness is not a problem,
If only you let him be your doctor,
He will cure you, simple as ABC,
And you will be healthy again that’s all.
Written by my good friend, Alex Osagie
If you are Jonah, then am the whale,
I defeat you in this contest,
Put it up on youtube and title it epic fail.
These days relationship end so quick like premature ejaculation, sorry that just my observation.
My lines dey flow like virgin wey dey see period.
There’s no period that can end your sentence cos its constantly flowing like river nile and it makes me smile
I drew words out of you,
Daaammmnnn I dey try, so as a big boy I nor go cry
You drew words out of me like d woman at d well dt met Jesus…and now all is well, don’t let ur head swell
Chaiii nna men odikwa risky, dey say everything sounds sexy in french, babay you are too much, takes aways every stench
Am drenched by your words that fall on me like am under a waterfall, you inspire me like Inspiration FM, we can do this from AM to PM
Woooah chineke, dis girl makes me walk on air like am wearing chris air, she takes my breath away and leaves me in despair, but my lines for you nor get repair
Now we could be a pair and that’s absolutely fair, never got to express my flair and now I feel free like the animals in the lair
Nnnaa men, dis girlie is da bomb, even boko dey look for her, I wish she was single, na good opportunity to mingle, anyways we cool as friends, cos she is cool as ice and twice as nice. So that’s how we roll, even if na with pure water and egg roll
Drumrolls, this guy makes sense die! I don’t need to cast a die, cos it myt lie, he’s so calm, he makes me scream ‘damn!’ And I have to keep my emotions in a dam before they overflow like a river, plus I no get dt kind liver, he’s amazing and am Grace
Pls send me your number
How is it that you don’t have it?
Well I get the number, but wen matter set like this i forget wetin i suppose remember, chaii I dey imagine stupid tins, but I nor dey near dustbin, if na primary school na to dey chill wit my cabin but boy don grow so nah poundy. Your lines so sweet, I never want to taste cherry, another reason why my bis will never expire on my blackberry
Blackberry, d fruit we’ve eaten that isn’t forbidden, too bad for Bin laden, he caused so much terror, dey called him a terrorist,buh you terrorise me with ur words, I call it a word terror, worthy of honour…am losing d rhymes, I have to make lunch buh I dnt have thyme, oh gosh! Am running out of time as well, I need me a Swatch to keep watch lest I lose the latch
Love they say isn’t aways tragic, but this more tragic than titanic, he guts fail me to panic, if you were near by we did go for a picnic, my heart beating fast I need to get to the clinic, cause right now am falling for you and I never want to get up. Alex wake up, why you dey dream for afternoon, you dey enjoy the mood nor forget say Mfon na God’s property so dey your lane quietly. Chaii Chaii Chineke, could dis be luv?
Love is a mystery but we fall so we can gain mastery, knowing you is like unlocking treasures which presents more pleasures…yes am God’s property, one has to ask Him before they can have me, Love isn’t always tragic because some see it as magic, maybe that’s why a singer sang ‘I’ll be your wizard o! You will be my witch’ but we don’t deal in that world of black magic, we are rather strategic, focused on God’s face, no need to kip lookin at 2 face, black face…I no dey live for face me I face u
I must confess, after God nothing else but you comes first, for me to get to you, I need to speak to him, cause He knows all about you past, present and future and even the rhythm of your heartbeat. So to God I make this plea, if only she can say yes to me, forever I did be grateful but in all am only wishful. But having you will be so cool. Let’s I forget, you can never live in face me I face you, even if we are all from the black race, your face lighten up space.
you sound like a man after God’s heart, they should call you David. If God answers your plea, I’ll be yors forever, but I don’t want to be Leah, forcing love like I work with the airforce. We should go to space so there would be no reason to say you need some space. Now I’m pacing in my room trying to stop my heart from racing on the 4th lane
Let your heart calm, feel it with your palm, my words can be as comforting like the book of Psalms. So no qualms, David killed Goliath, this battle will be won within the whole nine yards, God is on my side, we can never lose, and I know He loves you and wants what’s best for you, so again heed my plea, take my hand and let us be.
You’re so special, you’re hardly on the menu, my mouth is watery, I need a glass of water…oops! My cup overflows, surely that’s why goodness and mercy keep following me. We are the sheep and He’s the Shepherd, May He lead us to green pastures where we could lie down, may He lead us beside the still waters…am not 23 but I love the Psalms 23. Side by side we can scale thru d tides of life, hand in hand we’ll land in our promised Land
Now I have you, the storm is over, now I can say my prayers, oluwa eshe you will never leave boiz stranded, adupe, Abasi sosongo. Now let’s forge ahead, the world awaits, poetry unleashed at its best, we are not like the rest, we not bonnye and cldye, we roll like bees on the bee hive. Now life begins unlike season movies there is no end, to this poetry titled me and you.
Its Endless like the world without end, our poetry is unique because our hearts beat as one. We’ve been synchronised like an ipod to a system, now we are in sync.
I never like to have the last word, its awesome how we click and in sync, this love will never sink like Titanic, more romantic than Romeo and Juliet but our end will never be tragic because Oluwa is deeply, solely and absolutely involved, the definition of true love, and if people need example they will reference you and me.
Well, if they don’t reference us, they’d be called plagiarists… We are bound together with the glue of love so true, blue is my favorite colour but they have no clue, our union is stronger than Union Bank, its the First of its kind, so you can Bank on that. All the ‘x’s don’t matter now that I have ‘U’.
PS: This was a BBM chat between I and my friend and poet, Alex. Didn’t know it would turn out so good. Thank God for his gifts! 😀 😀
They took away my baby,
I created another one…
Woke up and found my baby was no more there…
She wasn’t there where I left her,
Yes I had abandoned her for a long time,
But I thought she’d always be there,
You know how they say you never know what you have till its gone,
Truth is I knew what I had,
Just didn’t think she would be taken from me,
My baby knew me so well,
I told her everything,
She was there for me during my dark phase,
I’ve been sad and alone,
Now I have another…
But she still remains irreplaceable
I do hope I don’t throw this baby with the bath water..
Mfon Etuk, 2014.