I see her every day. Playing at the same spot. Alone.
She intrigues me by her frailty. Her shoulder slopes like she’s been carrying some burden. Maybe she has. She has been writing something on the ground. She always does. My feet begin to move on their own accord, leading me to her.
‘Hello, what are you writing?’ I ask.
‘I’m drawing, not writing’ she blandly replies.
Obviously, I could see she was drawing. She drew skulls. She also drew what looked like disfigured humans with hanging limbs.
What she drew bothered me. How could a child be so disturbed?
‘Mom!’ I could hear the screeching sound of my daughter’s voice from behind me. I immediately retreated to where she was.
‘What were you doing with that weirdo?’ She asked with a grimace.
If my 9 year old child could call her ‘weird’, then there was a problem.
‘Why do you call her weird?’ I couldn’t help but ask.
‘Well, she sits at the back of the class, she doesn’t talk to anyone and when she does, she’s rude. She also talks to herself like a total weirdo.’ My daughter responded.
‘Is that all?’ I asked, obviously disappointed.
‘Mom, nobody talks to her.’
‘Who are her parents?’ I inquired further.
‘She’s only got a mom. My classmates say she’s a bastard’
Instinctively, I corrected my child and told her never to call the girl derogatory names.
‘Mom, why are you getting all worked up about her? She’s no good news.’
I stared at my daughter for a brief moment. A part of me wanted to smack her for the guts she had to keep replying me. At least that’s what my mother would have done to put me back on the right track. Doing that right here would only be my ticket to jail. Thanks to the laws in the States.
I ponder on a lot of things like what would happen to my African culture and traditions. I left home for a little above ten years. I took up an English name, got married to an amazing Nigerian who spent his whole life in the States. My skin is black but my mind is white. Not in the terms of black is for wrong and white for right. More in terms of being westernized while my skin cries for home.
Back to me being stymied from spanking my child. I turned back to look at the object of my thoughts. She had disappeared from the playground.
‘Karen, when we get home, go and search for 20 bible verses on showing kindness to people’ I faced my daughter squarely. ‘Don’t use the internet for this’ I quickly added.
Her face fell as she got into the front seat of the car.
‘I’m sorry mom’. She was smart enough to know when I was upset. At least the thousands of dollars spent on her education paid off.
Thanks for hanging in there through the A-Z blogging challenge. I’ve definitely had some hard days where I can’t seem to write on any topic. But we won’t give up! 😊
Today’s letter is Q and thanks to a brilliant suggestion by the lovely Sarah, I decided to make it ‘Questions and Answers’…I requested for questions to aid this post and I got a few. Thanks to everyone who sent in their questions. (It’s not too late to ask though, I can always update the post). 🙂
So let’s get to the questions:
Who is your celebrity crush and why?
What’s your favourite colour?
If you were asked to rule this nation for a year, what would you change?
What are the most memorable experiences you’ve had in your relationships?
What’s the silliest excuse someone made for not dating you?
Cats or dogs?
What is your favourite Bible verse?
What are your best moments so far?
Any most embarrassing moments?
As a Christian, do you feel/believe that relationships should be trouble free (more like perfect)?
My celebrity crush has changed over time but the name that easily comes to mind now is Lecrae 😍 Oh my! He’s got amazing build and he raps (and probably dances and plays Basketball) Lol. Plus, he loves the Lord! *dreamy eyes* I really think he’s super cool. 😉
I love colours, as you probably know. But my favourite remains Blue.
I’ve never really thought of ruling the country as I’m not a fan of politics. But in the unlikely scenario of me being a ruler, I think I’ll just cross out ‘world tour’ from my bucket list-Lol (that’s an inside joke). On a more serious note, I’ll align my policies towards building talents of youths.
Most memorable experiences… I believe relationships here is the generally term that covers my friendships as well. Asides the normal fun hangouts once in a while I think for me the most memorable is being really open and sharing deep truths of past and present. That in itself unlocks a whole new level.
The silliest excuse for me would be ‘you deserve better ‘ come on! I’m not stupid.😃
I haven’t really kept pets. The one time I did, it was a cat. But I kinda prefer dogs (except when they bark at me-or chase me *covers face*)
Currently my favourite Bible verse has to be Prov 4:23- Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.
Best moments so far…quite a number of them but I’ll just write two- graduation and a summer trip with my best friend
Well yes. Although I avoid embarrassment as the plague. I’ve had embarrassing pictures taken of me eating, oh and yeah, embarrassing incidences of public speaking where I literally felt like melting into thin air.
This is definitely a tough one. I don’t think relationships can be perfect as they are made up of imperfect individuals. But I do think as Christians, peace can be maintained and trouble averted to a large extent when both partners work towards that goal and maintain their roles.
Thanks once again for the questions! I enjoyed answering them. Feel free to still ask and I’ll update the post subsequently.
It’s day errr…I’ve lost count. The letter however is P for Poems. 😉
I read this really lovely, thought provoking poem by Nikkita Robert and I thought to share. To visit her blog, please click here. She’s got mind blowing poems, you’ll thank me later 🙂
Sometimes, it is better to leave than stick around. If we’re honest sometimes being the one who held out the longest isn’t a worthy crown. And sometimes, know when the game’s up and when the referee calls the end. Sometimes, know when to walk away, keep your head held high and don’t even say goodbye!
This poem had me pondering for days. The lines are full of depth! I just couldn’t help sharing! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Thanks again Nikkita!
Please if you have any questions to ask me, kindly drop them in the comment section or send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. I would really appreciate this as it would help in tomorrow’s post 😀 Feel free to ask anything and I’ll do my best to answer them! Brace yourself! Thanks!
‘It’s over’ she screamed as she banged her bag on the coffee table right in between her boyfriend and the girl whose hands he was previously holding.
‘Babe…’ he tried to start explaining. Shock and fear registered across his face. ‘It’s not what you think it is’
‘Oh really?’ Elizabeth glared down at the other girl who seemed more interested in sipping her cup of coffee than in the ruckus ensuing.
‘She’s just my friend’ he blatantly lied to her face without blinking.
Elizabeth couldn’t believe it. The relationship had been going through ups and downs; a little more downs than ups but she was naive enough to trust him. To believe every lie he told. Until the truth broke out.
The truth, they say, sets one free. But she felt more bound than free. She desperately wanted to believe him. To forgive him. But for how long? How long would she keep patching it up before finally accepting the hard truth?
‘It’s over Sam.’
Tears stung her face as the sun tortured her on her way out of the restaurant. The little teardrops glistened as she walked briskly.
‘Lizzy, wait! It’s not over until we say it is.’
She stopped in her tracks and turned to see him on his knees with a ring in his hand. All her friends were holding up placards with the question ‘Will you marry me?’
Hope you enjoyed the little piece of fiction. I intend to play around with this a bit more before the end of the challenge. Watch this space! 😉
How’s the weekend going? It’s day 14 of the A-Z blogging challenge and just before we take the Sunday break, I would like to leave you with this little post.
I like this song ‘Who you are’ by Jesse J, partly because it talks about identity crisis and stuff. I was listening to it the other day and a line struck me; ‘It’s okay not to be okay.’
Is it really?
Truth is we often pretend we are okay when we are not. We smile outwardly while we die on the inside. Why do we do that to ourselves? Maybe because society has told us ‘big girls don’t cry’ or to ‘grow up’. We’ve also heard stuffs like ‘your tears won’t change anything ‘ or ‘just suck it in’ and a lot more. Society puts so much pressure on us to be perfect. To be so perfect we don’t break. We absorb everything like a sponge. Hide everything so no one knows we struggle with stuff-lest they tag us imperfect, unfit, or different. Heck! No one wants to be called a ‘sissy’ or a ‘loser’.
So people go about wearing masks. A woman could be in a destructive relationship but still use a concealer to hide the wounds and put on a smile so no one knows. A father could be in some deep financial crisis but keep faking a smile just so he doesn’t lose his family’s respect. A boy could be bullied in school but still put up a front so his friends think he’s tough.
But I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to put up a show for everyone when you feel terrible on the inside. You don’t have to feign a smile when you’re crying inside. You don’t have to look like you’ve got it all together when you don’t. Don’t lie and say you’re fine when you’re far from fine. It’s okay not to be okay.
Whatever it is you may be going through, let it run its course. Cry if you have to. Scream! If you must. Don’t bottle it up ’cause it’ll only lead to implosion.
Hey, stop holding back the sobs because you fear you’ll disappoint them. It’s okay not to be okay- because soon you will be. As I often say, no matter how dark the night is, it doesn’t stop the day from breaking forth when it’s time.
Soon you will be okay. Soon you’ll smile again without pretending. But you only get there when you admit you’re hurt and stop covering up. Let God know your struggles and stop struggling on your own. When you tell Him ‘hey, I’m not okay but I want to be’, He’ll be more than pleased to make you ‘not just okay’ but perfectly and completely whole.
I didn’t plan on writing a long post as I’m usually lazy on the weekends, but He always has His way 😊
I pray for everyone who isn’t okay right now to get to the point of truly being okay with no pretense. God loves you!
Have a super duper weekend! ❤✌
See you on Monday! (as you know the blogging challenge excludes Sundays) 😊