I was speaking to a friend the other day about personal style. Some of us have consciously or unconsciously curated certain fashion pieces that define our style. It’s easy to identify us with these pieces. However, that wasn’t the issue. The issue was in the confidence to pull off your personal style amidst spectators who would always talk. Any encounter with African aunts and uncles will give you an idea of how this goes. Lol. My friend pointed out that the confidence factor stems from self-acceptance.
Do you accept yourself?
Do you accept yourself and your personal style? It’s easy to answer yes to that question. Yet, some of us are on this shaky table where people pleasing is all we’ve ever known. I believe that what is most important is to build your identity in Christ. He loves you, and He thought you were worthy enough to die for. So you don’t have to live life feeling unwanted, unworthy, and unaccepted.
A strong confident person can rule the room with knowledge, personal style, attitude and great posture
Cindy Ann Peterson
I was reading Mark Manson’s book, (you know the one), and he pointed out that not caring about things, doesn’t mean being totally indifferent and apathetic. Rather, he spoke to choosing values and prioritizing them in your life so you don’t have to care about what everyone else thinks.
For instance, you choose ‘comfort’ as a value. Your wardrobe goes on to capture comfortable outfits; from lounge wears to soft flannel shirts, cashmere sweaters and other items that make you comfortable. This is your style at this time (bearing in mind that our style evolves as we do). With that value in mind, when you step out and encounter an aunt that goes on and on about how you’re never going to find a husband in those ballet flat shoes or sneakers, you wouldn’t place as much importance on her words. Besides, you don’t have to wear heels and break a hip because you’re trying to ‘find a husband’. Lol. This also applies to male fashion eg. keeping beards (note: I’m pro beards), but you don’t have to do so if it’s not your style.
You are you. You are not the model in that photograph or the girl beside you in the elevator or a woman eating lunch at the next table. What they are wearing may stop traffic, but be sure it’s right for you before emulating the effect.
Anne Fogarty
The point of this entire post is that self-acceptance comes from within not without. It’s internal, you have to accept that you are worthy of being here, taking up space. You have to accept that you are capable of making the right decisions when it comes to curating a personal style (thankfully, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us). You can’t always wait until you’re complimented to know you look good. Tell yourself you look good.
Dress each day as though you were a masterpiece and define your personal style.
Cindy Ann Peterson
Accept yourself, and extend the same grace to others. Make choices that are meant to improve your life and those around you. I’ve learnt that you don’t always have to ‘people-please’ to help others. The funny thing about people pleasing is that those who hate you will still hate you, no matter how low you bend over backwards to please them. We can’t give what we don’t have. Have you noticed that whenever we judge a person, most times it’s a reflection of something within us? Like how is she so free? How dare she do what I’ve always wanted to do but can’t do? So friends, be kind to yourself and to others. Extend grace!
Love,
M.
Dainty M. 