I was mindlessly scrolling through my Instagram timeline when I noticed some posts which were both mood boosters and drainers. I saw one that was like, ‘You have to force yourself to wake up early, you have to take care of your responsibilities, you have to be honest with yourself, you have to evaluate your priorities. Nobody is going to do it for you, these are your goals and dreams. Everything you want starts and ends with you.’ To be honest, I was logged out at the second ‘You have to’. I’m at a point where my entire body is screaming ‘Do I have to? I’m sick and tired of it all!’
Sometimes, what we all need is a place to vent. To blow out some steam, to recharge, to de-stress and not be called lazy or judged for it. I was at a point where I wanted to vent in the comment section of the post I quoted above, but then I noticed everyone’s comment seemed to have a more positive vibe to it. You know how that can feel sometimes, when everyone around you seems to be seeing rainbows and sunshine, while all you see are grey skies.
I’m an encourager by the grace of God. I love to be the sunshine that uplifts others. But like most of the people who walked with God in the Bible, there are days when my spirit is broken and I feel like David when he wrote some of the sadder Psalms. Like, ‘Where are you God? What’s happening? Who turned out all the lights? I can’t see you! Can you hear me?’ And my soul keeps shouting all these prayers while my eyes look up to the heavens. I know I have no one else but God, and this also means I have to wait for Him.
Ah, the waiting. The trusting. The believing. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would have a problem with these words. Somehow, in a world of cynicism and broken dreams, it’s easy to drown in the despairing sea of hopelessness. To be honest, it’s God that pulls me out of it long enough to share my story and hopefully encourage others. Everything is temporary, including the bad times. In the moment though, it feels like it’s never gonna end. That’s why I’m writing this to let you know, you’re not alone. I feel you, I get you, and I know this season of your life sucks. I also know this isn’t where our stories end.
Do you need a corner to vent? Do you need a place to scream out your lungs? Or maybe to cry your eyes out, or just stare in silence as your soul does all the talking? I know I do. And Job in the Bible needed that too. He got friends, who albeit were a little too critical, yet, they were there to go through the motions with him. It’s okay that you feel this way. Let this post and comment section be a platform for you to lend your voice (you can even do so anonymously). And I pray that the God of all hope will strengthen you and imbue you with new hope to continue on your journeys.
Lots of love,