Many of us have either been depressed/anxious/suicidal or we’ve known people who are. So how do we talk to them when they’re going through these rough times? How do we help them out??
A few days ago I was at my wit’s end. I was unable to get out of bed, and I just couldn’t stop sobbing. It felt like the world had toppled over and my feeble shoulders were left to carry the weight of it all. ‘I don’t feel like today.’ ‘I’m tired of it all.’ ‘Can this life be over already?’ Were some of the thoughts that ran wild through my mind.
I was in a very dark place. One that left me feeling truly helpless.
I still had responsibilities and a job to do, and I didn’t know how to tell them I wasn’t feeling so good lately. I felt the pressure to act the part and put up a smile when I was drained on the inside. To top that up, when you haven’t gotten the money to pay for a shrink, what do you do? 😌
I laid down still, hoping the feelings will wash over me and then fade away. But how long would it take? My mind was spiraling. It’s one thing to be depressed and not feel like doing anything, but it’s also another thing to have so much to do that your brain goes crazy anxious about what would happen if you don’t do them.
In all my interactions with mental health, I know how important it is to reach out for help. Sometimes, I’d just call a friend who I know would have some funny stories that would distract me from how I am feeling. Other times, it’s a friend who just understands and is silent with me through the process. I’m blessed to have these people in my corner. But sometimes, you don’t receive the kind of sensitivity you desire. And it’s not anyone’s fault. They don’t understand how there could be sunshine and yet, all you see are dark clouds. Be more understanding of this.
It’s very uncomfortable being in the situation of the ‘comforter’. Sometimes, you’ve got your own problems to worry about than to attend to someone else who is offloading on you. Very valid. Other times, you don’t even know what to say. I mean, you don’t know what could be a trigger for your friend.
But here’s what I’ll say… just be there. Be present. Show up for them. They don’t need you to be perfect or say all the self-help things you’ve read before. Just be there.
I know we all have our struggles and problems to deal with, but there’s something about a drowning person reaching out to you that should make you stop and just be there for them. You may not understand it, but God does and He wants to use you as His hands and feet (if you’ll allow Him).
You wanna know how I got through my last episode? I saw a repost of one of my quotes. Engraved were words I had written to address my current situation. It’s like the Holy Spirit knew I would need it some day. And in that moment, I realized that the devil must be threatened by something in me, and that’s why he keeps messing with my mind.
You may not have this kind of epiphany. But I hope you realize that you have people who care genuinely about you. People who are reading this just to see how they can be better friends around you.
You are strong when you reach out for help. You are strong when you’re vulnerable and bare out your soul. You are brave for telling your story. In so doing, you’ll be able to comfort all who go through the things you’ve gone through.
Please share things people have done or you’ve done to help others feel comforted.