Fallow Ground Pt 2

Missed out on Part 1? Catch up here!

As weeks went by, things got back to normal. Jessica and George continued to advance in their love and careers. Life wasn’t so bad, or so she thought.

Two years after she had been diagnosed of fibroids, she felt even emptier than before. George had laid down his roots, a love story that upended her world. For someone who never gave much thought about marriage or of having kids, Jessica became more aware of her current reality. Now with no end in sight, the fear of losing what she never thought about became real.

She was back again at the hospital. The ice cold feel of the scanner did nothing for her. She had boulder-like fibroids inhabiting her fallow womb. She heard the same choruses sung by the doctors and nurses; ‘You should get married soon.’ ‘Have you considered just having a kid on your own?’ She wondered, if only it were that easy to come upon a child. She was no Mary.

Jessica tried to return to normalcy, but it was harder with every comment on her increased weight. Her tummy felt like a football, not the cute kind which are portrayed in baby bump photos. Her job came with demands for perfection as a TV host. But what they could not see behind her smiles was the internal struggle with phrases like ‘You’re adding weight.’ ‘Are you watching it?’ That everyone felt the need to give her. Over the months, Jessica fell deeper into depression.

One Saturday morning after climbing the scale, Jessica felt a surge of anger and bitterness. The kind she hadn’t felt before. She hated what had become of her body. She wondered why George left her. She was mad at the world. So mad that she did not feel the broken mirror she had clenched her fist tightly around.

The blood spilled in trickles, until it became a pool. She smiled wearily, and whispered ‘I can see the light’.

-DaintyM, 2021.

Watch this space for the next episode!