I have been longing to write something for so long! It’s been an itch that wouldn’t leave me. Truth be told, I’ve indeed missed writing on my blog; I’ve missed the interactions and I’ve missed the knowledge gleaned from other blogs. But amidst all the truckload of academic work, it’s been hard to find a corner where I could get creative. With that said, how are you doing? (for real, you should answer that in the comment section because I really want to know).
Well, my birthday is this month. This particular birthday has left me rather anxious. I’ve dreamt of it since I was 18 and I just had so much hope and aspirations of what it should look like. Each day makes me worry that it won’t be like I expected. It may just end up being another safe, adventure-less day. Don’t get me wrong, I like safe. But I’ve been so safe all my life! Sometimes, I feel like a mouse that gets yelled at and pushed around by others. Most times, it’s the fear that resides deep within- the fear of not being good enough, not holy enough, not worthy enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough and a whole lot more. Those fears and insecurities have held me back over the years. I wouldn’t do anything out of the box. I wouldn’t think beyond the norm. I stick with rules. Again, don’t get me wrong- rules keep us safe, truly. Like it or not, even the word of God has some rules for our benefits. But here is what I want us to consider now.
Dealing with Fear
Fear has crippled me over the years; the fear of mean bosses, fear of parents, fear of socializing, fear of expressing myself and fear of being me (that last one, especially, is a big deal). Some of us deal with the fear of not being true to who we are because we fear that people may not accept us like that. I, for instance, sometimes try to hide that I’m a ‘goody-two-shoes’ so I don’t come off as judgemental or boring. Other times, I proclaim loudly that I’m weird. But really, who defines weird? The fact that one doesn’t conform to the world’s standard doesn’t qualify them as weird and why do we even accept that label or any other label?
I’ve learned to constantly remind myself of who God says I am. It’s a journey and I’m still struggling. But I believe it gets better.
Last year, I set out on a journey of discovery; I tried out different jobs, different relationships, applied to different schools and finally found out what I liked or didn’t like and where I fit in or didn’t fit in. This year, I’m setting out on a journey to fearlessness. This is a major step for me. It frightens me! But hey, there’s a reason why God always says fear not! Because when we are afraid, we won’t be able to stand for our faith. When we are afraid, we can’t put our foot down on what is wrong or right. When we are afraid, we will be people pleasers- and often time God ‘displeasers’. When we are afraid, we don’t express the potentials that God has deposited in us. So yes, this is a step to take, particularly in a critical year such as this.
I’ll like to share a couple of verses with you if you’re also interested in embarking on a journey towards fearlessness-
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. -Josh 1:9
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. -Ps 94:19
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline -2Tim 1:7
I hope you’re encouraged to be fearless especially in the pursuit of what God has called you for.
Lots of love,