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What is it about separation that seems to tear the soul apart? You meet strangers who become family and friends. And soon you have to bid them goodbye because life beckons. Why is there so much pain in separation?  


The Christmas season is always a reminder of that love and bond that families share. It’s a time of togetherness; a time of caring and sharing. Not saying there won’t be quibbles here and there. But there’s still something about saying goodbye at the end of it all. For me, it’s extremely hard!

I mean, I’ve grown to love these people and be accustomed to them;  why then do I have to say goodbye?

Separation is one of the hardest but necessary things about life. Sometimes you have to deliberately separate from the known for the unknown. You may have to leave that favourite teacher at your children’s school, or it may be that person you grew so fond of; or that job you held on to much too long. Whatever it is, separation is going to happen sooner or later. How then do we manage it?

  1. Remember, if it’s not death that separates you, you can still keep in touch with them. I find keeping in touch with separated family or friends quite reassuring. It fills that little hole in my heart that yearns for them. And even when death is the separator, we have hope that someday we’ll be reunited with our loved ones in eternity.
  2. Time is a healer. I know that’s cliché. But trust me, with time you’d get busy and consumed with new things that life throws at you and you won’t hurt as much from the separation.
  3. Remember that change is a constant. Sometimes we get separated from people because time and chance have happened. Trust the process, for who knows, you just may be united in the future. Joseph in the Bible is an example of one who had to be separated from family to fulfil his destiny.
  4. When you know it’s a healthy separation, don’t be afraid to do it. Imagine if we couldn’t separate from our parents and ended up living with them all through our lives! I mean, at some point you’ve gotta pull out and raise your own family. That’s a healthy separation you need not be afraid of. Even weaning a child from a mother’s breasts is another form of healthy separation. Don’t be afraid to make that healthy separation that would aid your desired future.
  5. Trust God. I can’t state enough how much we ought to trust the one who knows the end from the beginning. Sometimes, He’s the one who separates us from the known to fulfil destiny. Trust Him through it all.

God told Abram: “Leave your country, your family, and your father’s home for a land that I will show you”. – Gen 12:1 (MSG)

I know separation sucks. I’m currently feeling the blues myself. I’m a couple of hours away from school resumption and I must say, the jitters are kicking in. I miss home already!  But I just want to encourage you, and myself, to stay strong and trust the process. In the end, it’s gonna work out for our good.

Happy New Year!

Love, M.

7 thoughts on “Dealing with Separation

  1. Yeah, it sucks but like you mentioned, we need to trust God always that it’s for the best future ahead. Thanks for sharing! Love and blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful post Mfon! Separation is definitely hard, and I’ve been dealing with that a lot since leaving high school, but sometimes, as you said, it’s necessary. This is something everyone has to go through and I think you did an excellent job addressing it! Keep up the good writing!😃

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m currently dealing with mine (No.4 to be precise) but I understand it has to happen. What’s been really helpful is the support from family and friends. The advice I have received from folks who have gone through this has been great as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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