Thanks to my Blogger friend, Blessing from Blessing Shares, I’ll be running a truth series every Wednesday (reblog from her blog) and Friday (my own post) of October. Basically the concept behind this is to share heartfelt posts with a lot of emotions that we probably would never have published on the blog. 😉
Please join us through this series as it promises to be exciting!
I’ve set out a couple of times on a journey to find myself. To dig into my soul and answer the never-ending questions of ‘Who I am?’ ‘Why am I here?’ ‘Why me?’ Believe me, it never stops! You may find the answer at the beginning of the year but mid-way, you totally forget who you really are. Or someone asks you and you start fumbling for words.
I think self-finding is a never-ending quest. Because as you grow, you begin to learn new things about yourself. Things you detested may even become your favourite things. You begin to build capacity in areas where you lacked and so on.
Anyhoo, all my self-finding efforts proved futile. Maybe not entirely, because at least I could make a list of fun facts about me. But if I’m to review that list right now, some items would be knocked off and others added.
As a matter of fact, my last self-finding journey in the peaceful southern Nigeria surrounded by green peaceful trees left me with these words:
She wanted an escape from her life, her thoughts, her unknown dreams… Instead, she came face to face with the hollowness of her existence.
Can you imagine?! I went to find myself and I discovered just how hollow, how inadequate, how incapable I was. I questioned my very existence and gained no satisfaction from the results.
Well, needless to say, with or without finding ourselves we still live life in some way. But these questions keep coming…’Who are you? What are you on earth for?’ And it’s so frustrating when you can’t answer them! It feels like going blank in an examination hall and suddenly noticing the cobwebs on the ceiling fans!
I took another personal retreat some weeks back. This time was different because I wasn’t tryna find myself, I was tryna find God. Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, I felt I had lost him along the way.
The environment was beautiful and serene. I took note of every element of creation and I was ‘wowed!’by them. It was such a peaceful time for me. I enjoyed the walk under the beautiful trees. I picked flowers and smiled at onlookers. It was amazing.
Guess what I got?
When you search for God, you find yourself. But when you search for yourself, you find how inadequate you are.
Those words hit my heart as a thunderbolt. The truth sure sets us free!
When you go searching for God, you find Him and you also find yourself! You find who you are in Him. You discover how you really aren’t a nonentity. You wouldn’t be here on earth if you had no purpose. Even when you observe nature, you notice that the beautiful butterfly has a purpose and that frog also has a purpose! So why do you think you’re a mistake?
God doesn’t make mistakes sweetheart. Nothing surprises Him.
If you haven’t gotten anything from today’s post, please get this:
Find God, find yourself. Don’t go finding yourself first. It’s a wild goose chase!
It’s always my desire that you live victorious lives!