Thanks for sticking with me from the first letter, to the second, the third and now. I may be writing this to help you but it is helping me more. I think letting things out in the open helps. It makes us know we are not alone. I like listening to NF music because he says all the right things…the things I feel. In his words, ‘this is therapy for me’ 🙂
Depression and loneliness.
Sometimes I think it’s a cause and effect relationship, where depression causes loneliness or is it loneliness that causes depression? I don’t know anymore. Maybe it works both ways. Being lonely often gives room for the depression to invade completely. While being depressed also pretty much drives people away, leaving you lonely.
Isn’t that all the devil wants? To keep you so far from help and fill you with negative thoughts. Suffice it to say loneliness and depression go hand in hand.
I didn’t know how lonely I was until Grey kept asking. I felt bare for a second. I felt naked, it hurt. The shrubs couldn’t cover the open wounds of hearing him say ‘you are lonely’. How could that be true? I have you Lord. I know I haven’t been able to open up to anyone about how I really feel and how much I struggle with. But that doesn’t matter because I have you. Right? Then why do I feel like I’m sitting here alone or walking alone. The familiar faces are so distant. Everyone feels alien to me. I know I hurt. I know I should talk to someone. But nobody understands me. No one to trust. But you Lord. And I should be fine with that. I don’t want to crave for human relationships. I just want to be alone. With you.
Looking back at this diary entry, I understand the huge difference between loneliness and aloneness.
True aloneness is the absence of God.
While loneliness hinges on the desire to have intimate relationships with others. So while you may have a sound relationship with God and be forever aware of His presence, you may still be like me in that entry. Sometimes you may be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. If you’re a Christian, then you understand you can never be alone because God is with you. If you aren’t, then you need to get to know Him and just how much He loves you!
And the loneliness problem?
God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion. -Gen 2:18
He created other humans to solve that! God recognized that ‘it is not good for man to be alone’. Note here that man already had a relationship with God, so He wasn’t referring to the aloneness that comes from not knowing God is there and He cares. God knew we’d get lonely and crave relationships with other humans. I have a post on this and it would soon be up on the blog.
I’ve seen some interesting quotes about loneliness and how addictive it can be. It makes you detest being around people sometimes. Admittedly, that’s true. For me, I enjoy being alone especially when I’m depressed. But somewhere within me, I want someone to reach out. To talk to me. To be there. And it’s normal for you to feel that way because we weren’t created to be lonely beings. It’s fondly said that no man is an island and that couldn’t be any truer.
You need to be with people who love and care for you. Surround yourself with positive friends who will help you get through the depression or whatever vices you deal with. Please, don’t get addicted to the loneliness and the pain. Let people into your world. Allow them to help. They need you. You need them. Even Birdy, who I love listening to in such moments, sang; ‘people help people’.
I’m writing this so you know you’re not alone. I’m here to help you by God’s grace. You can always send your letter or a prayer request to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll encourage you as much as I can.
Thanks for reading!
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother- Proverbs 18:24