Weekend Extra: Q & A

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q-and-aHey guys!

How’s the weekend going? I hope yours has been better than mine 😊

I came across this funny symbol for the friend-zone and I couldn’t stop laughing at it. I mean it simply captures the whole situation where one person has feelings for another while the other person is just like;Β ‘we’re friends dude, nothing more!’ 😦 😦 

friend-zone
Photo Credit: dailymail.co.uk

The half heart shape is completed with a thumbs up! (that’s just mean! LOL)Β Although the picture is funny, the idea of being in the friend-zone sucks! I’m sure some of us have been on both sides of the spectrum and we can totally relate. πŸ˜‚

The question for today’s post is this:

Why do good girls/guys get friend-zoned?Β 

I mean, you see a guy who checks out items on your list and you can already envision a beautiful future with him but he just wants you as his friend and nothing more! And you’re such a good girl, the epitome of respect and homeliness! You can even cook all the meals in the world and pray from sunrise to sunset!Β Β But he still sees you as a really good friend who he wouldn’t mind finding a suitable date for.Β LOL πŸ˜ƒ

friend-zonee
Photo credit: thefriendzone.us

Or it could be the other way. You meet a totally good guy who can be qualified as morally admirable; goes to church, does community service, gives out liberally, buys you whatever you need etc. πŸ˜‚Β  But there’s just no romantic attraction! You only like him enough to be your best buddy! Your go-to for relationship advice. Your shoulder to cry on when you have a heartbreak and your hand to hold when going shopping. LOL.

text
Photo Credit: pinterest.com

So I want to get your opinions. Why do you think good guys/girls get friend-zoned? Is being good not good enough?Β 

For clarification:

‘Good’ here connotes: Having positive qualities; morally admirable; moral excellence; that which is pleasing or valuable.

While ‘friend-zone’ means:Β What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another. -Source

Please share your thoughts in the comment section! Feel free to reply someone else’s comment without condemning or demeaning them please.Β 

Thank you!

Love,

daintym

 

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34 thoughts on “Weekend Extra: Q & A

    People Rebuilders Foundation said:
    September 17, 2016 at 2:27 PM

    Love your article. I’m personally going through this as we speak and I like her but she is just a great friend. I want nothing more than friendship but she does. I have to stop being a friend cause I’m tired of the look of hurt when I don’t react the way she needs or wants me to.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 3:09 PM

      Thanks for sharing! Yeah, it’s so sad how we lose friends because of this. 😒 But it’s still better than stringing her along with the thoughts that someday you’ll feel the same way. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

        People Rebuilders Foundation said:
        September 17, 2016 at 3:43 PM

        U are so right. Thanks again for your article. Look forward to your future stories.

        Like

        Dainty M responded:
        September 17, 2016 at 3:49 PM

        Thanks again for contributing!😊

        Liked by 1 person

    Courtney said:
    September 17, 2016 at 4:14 PM

    Oh my goodness, those are hilarious pictures but they are totally accurate! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I have two theories here, as someone in the friendzone and who has friendzoned before.

    The first is that the other person is completely oblivious. I’ve liked one of my guy friends for going on three years now, and I’m pretty sure he’s completely in the dark about the whole thing (Because I’m just awesome at keeping secrets that way…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ). Honestly, I’ve probably had my moments where I lost my cool but I think he still hasn’t figured it out!

    The second is when you’ve known a person for a really long time, it can be hard to see them as anything more than a friend/brother. I have another guy friend that one of my gal friend’s ships me with. She always says we’d be a great couple and it would totally work out. But the thing is, I’ve known this guy since middle school! We fight like siblings and I honestly think of him as my brother! So there I am, being the friend-zoner! πŸ˜‚ I guess life works both ways!

    These are my theories, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

    Liked by 3 people

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 7:28 PM

      LOL! So true. Haha! I like how you looked at it from both views. For the first part, I like how you’ve kept your cool with the guy you like- not many can do that! πŸ˜€
      Then secondly, that familiarity with friends sure puts them in that zone where we really don’t wanna be more than friends because we’re comfortable with them being just what they are- mega friends! LOL.
      Thanks for sharing Courtney!

      Liked by 2 people

    Bukola said:
    September 17, 2016 at 5:07 PM

    Have been in the valley of friend zone a couple of times…lol..I really love the article, it’s funny and its real. The important thing is to keep moving on because the person you will be in a relationship with will first be a friend before eventually becoming a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 7:42 PM

      I agree with being friends with the bf/gf first. But how do you know if you’re in the friend-zone or if you’re in a progressive relationship? Lol. Thanks for sharing dear! πŸ™‚

      Like

    captain of the flying dutchman said:
    September 17, 2016 at 10:01 PM

    Really very cool. For me I think it’s….Emmmmm, lack of making your intentions known on time

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 10:22 PM

      Hmmm… but making your intentions known on time can also lead to the obvious friend-zoning. Lol. Because she may think it’s too fast or too forward πŸ˜€ Thanks for contributing!

      Like

    D'Dream said:
    September 17, 2016 at 10:08 PM

    If you ask me, na who I go ask
    This matter wey you bring so, e Don tey
    No be me go solve am, e heavy for mouth
    If you ask me about the matter for ground
    Na who I go ask!

    Ha! This post is doing me jigbijigbi somehow, lolz

    Okay let me relax……. He he he. The dreaded, emotional frying friend zone. I even think guys experience this more than girls.
    From personal experience I have been friend zoned ultimately all my life; maybe its my future wife’s powerful bulletproof prayer that has been working overtime …LOL.

    Seriously it can be so hurtful but then as they say life goes on. By the way relationships should be clearly defined from the onset to prevent this kind of story that suffocates the heart

    Liked by 1 person

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 10:31 PM

      Hahaha, I like how you began with that song by Omawumi! I call that a dramatic entrance πŸ˜€ I couldn’t stop laughing at how you described your future wife’s prayers- that really could be the reason! The friend-zone is really an emotional frying zone on a more serious note. 😦
      The Captain also spoke about defining it from the start, but doesn’t that make the zoning process faster? She wouldn’t even get to know more about the guy because he came off so strong. What are your thoughts?
      Thanks for contributing!

      Liked by 1 person

    D'Dream said:
    September 17, 2016 at 10:43 PM

    You see this relationship game of a thing can be really tricky. What makes it even more tricky is the fact that it involves two completely different personalities with uneven doses of preferences, microscopic gaunt of exposure and experience.

    You see there is a fine, very thin, not so readily demarcated line between infatuation, lust and love.

    First contact with a person is not all that about that, plus not readily examining what you want in a partner is a deciding factor that can cause things to be complicated

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 17, 2016 at 10:48 PM

      Hmmm, very strong points. Thanks for taking the time to explain further! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    Mfon Charis said:
    September 17, 2016 at 11:43 PM

    Lol!!!
    Whenever a “Zone” is created, someone just has to be kept in that “Zone”.
    Lol!!!
    Most times, these “Zones” are created mentally based on several reasons eg: Family Upbringing, Past experiences (relationship-wise), Culture (Yes Culture: Don’t marry from here or there… because the people are these and that), Standards, superficial preferences ( Like: I can’t date short guys ooo… etc lol!!!)etc… The list of the excuses/reasons are actually inexhaustible.

    Liked by 1 person

      Dainty M responded:
      September 18, 2016 at 12:43 AM

      Oh wow! I totally agree with you, though I never really saw it this way πŸ˜€ But really, the list of likes/dislikes and preferences help zone people accordingly, LOL. We would naturally crush on people who fit into our mold of perfection than people who lack some major requirements in our minds. Thanks for really breaking this down. πŸ™‚

      Like

    Esther Amarachi said:
    September 18, 2016 at 1:45 AM

    That was hilarious but really real. Experienced it some years back and its not funny one bit. You just have to bite your lip and wish that someone who adores you will come your way next time. Well written dainty.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 18, 2016 at 7:00 PM

      Lol. It’s definitely not funny when you’re there! Hope in the future someone who would adore us is a beautiful hope 😍 Thanks Amy!

      Like

    officialnnamdi said:
    September 18, 2016 at 2:42 AM

    Interesting topic; here’s my thought.
    Firstly, we go wrong when we don’t chip in our intentions from the start or at least at some point. You have to let the person know that some stuff you do for them; you don’t just do it for anyone. That way you chip a thought of specialty. Secondly, you need to maintain a certain pace- don’t go too fast while trying to help or support the person. My point is don’t be all over that person especially while you’re trying to make your intentions known so they don’t just become so fond of you and you become a brother or best friend. I feel most importantly you just need to make your intentions known earlier if not they appreciate you so much they begin to see you as a role model, dad or brother in some cases.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 18, 2016 at 7:04 PM

      Is there a dad zone? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ You’re right though, maintaining a steady pace is important. Hmmm, I guess mentioning it at an early stage might just be the best thing as more than two witnesses have said that 😊
      Thanks for joining in and sharing your thoughts 😊

      Like

        officialnnamdi said:
        September 18, 2016 at 8:10 PM

        Lol. There’s a dad zone. When she says ‘You are just like a father to me, thanks for the advice’ sounds good but heart breaking. You’re welcome 😊 I’m glad to be a part of this forum πŸ™πŸ½

        Like

        Dainty M responded:
        September 19, 2016 at 6:40 PM

        Hahahah! That’s just mean! Lol. Well, I’ve learned a new zone! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    Deb said:
    September 18, 2016 at 7:10 AM

    Great post. Personally,I think it is all about timing. If your intentions are made clear in advance,then the comfort of being friendzoned won’t happen. If it is too late…then letting go of the friendship may be the best thing for both parties.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 18, 2016 at 7:07 PM

      Timing! So important! But letting go of the friendship always sucks for meπŸ˜“ As you’ve said though, it’s good to avoid the comforts of the friend zone by letting known the intentions on time. Thanks for joining in Deb! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    Damola A said:
    September 19, 2016 at 10:27 AM

    Just reading through all the comments…lol. For the life of me, I could never understand why. I have been in the situation a few times and I want to believe I am a catch..lol so I could not get it. I could say though, that there were some guys I have friend zoned because the friendship was just perfect, I wanted to keep them as my friends forever and a relationship could ruin that.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 19, 2016 at 6:45 PM

      Lol! Riiiight! I totally get you. There are just some friends that are best kept as friends. Lol. And yes, you’re a catch! I also have same thoughts when I’m in that situation πŸ˜€ Thanks for contributing Damola!

      Liked by 1 person

    Tamie said:
    September 27, 2016 at 10:19 AM

    The friend zone sign got me laughing.
    Like its been aptly put by the above comments, its multifactorial.
    My thoughts echo closely to charis’s.
    Best foot forward is finding a way to cushion the effect…accepting it and moving on while retaining friendship or saying good bye so one doesn’t keep having continuous heart pangs and silent cracks.

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      September 27, 2016 at 12:22 PM

      Hmmm, yes. That cushioning effect is much needed before hearts will be broken all over the place πŸ˜€ Thanks for joining in Tamie!

      Liked by 1 person

    Bassey Etim said:
    October 5, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    Can’t stop smiling at this. Lol😁

    Just reading through the comments. I think it’s just as officialnnamdi puts it. Lol

    Like

    thatweirdchic said:
    December 19, 2016 at 11:59 PM

    I love reading this article. I was in the process of writing my own blog about the friend zone when I needed a little extra inspiration.
    I’ve written this whole blog about the fact that I don’t even know if myself and my friend have unintentionally friend zoned each other, but I’m not ready to post it yet because he also reads my blog πŸ™ˆπŸ˜±

    Like

      Dainty M responded:
      December 20, 2016 at 12:10 AM

      Hahaha! OMG! I can only imagine πŸ˜ƒ Maybe one of you should just let out the feelings πŸ˜‰ I’d like to read the post when you put it up πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

        thatweirdchic said:
        December 20, 2016 at 12:18 AM

        Would you mind if I send you the draft and see what you think haha

        Like

        Dainty M responded:
        December 21, 2016 at 1:32 PM

        I’d love that! You can send it to contact@daintym.com thanks! xx

        Like

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