So I’ve been talking about the adult thing for some time with a couple of friends. Friends who are pretty new to the adult thing like me. I still have a lot of questions to ask. Like at what age does one really become an adult? 18? 21? When you become independent? When you get married? What even makes an adult? My dictionary defines adult as a fully developed person from maturity onward. Are the people we refer to as adults fully developed really? Or is it just the developed physical attributes we refer to?
If adulthood begins at 18, then I’ve swam in the pool of uncertainty for about 5 years. But I think the African culture recognises adults from 21, so that’s a bit more relieving that I’ve had 2 years of being uncertain about the adult thing. To be honest, I find adulthood a tad scary. It’s kinda like you suddenly become responsible for yourself. Parents withdraw monthly allowances, you become very vulnerable to the law, and you’re left to figure out life with no one to walk you through it. There’s really no dress rehearsal for adulthood, it’s almost like it just comes on you. Phew! Beads of sweat are trickling down my face as I try to analyse this.
I still remember how much I wanted to grow up when I was a kid. I just wanted the perks of independence that came with being an adult. But now that I am, I’m almost wishing I could go back. So now you get to make your decisions knowing fully well you’re responsible for them. It’s no surprise my mind is in a constant state of busyness as I try to weigh every thought, every decision, every word on the pros/cons list. The need for perfection almost drives me insane. It’s overwhelming! I’m not done making decisions for myself and you’re telling me someday I’ll be a mom and would have to make decisions for my kids and family. Gee! Wouldn’t that drive me to insanity?
‘M, take one step at a time. Just breathe.’ You may say. But I’ll give you a thousand decisions I’m yet to make; a thousand thoughts fighting for prominence.
Does anyone really figure out the adult thing? Are there rules that guide everyone? For someone like me who loves rules, are there rules to follow? Within my short time of ‘adulting’, I’ve seen those who don’t play by the rules and it works great for them. And those who abide by the rules are called safe and boring. It’s all confusing!
Yeah sure there are adults who have gone before you and can teach you the ropes. But can your life really be tailored in the same way your mom’s was? Do the same rules still apply? Okay, I really need to hear what you guys have to say about this. I really want to learn from your thoughts and experiences. Thanks!😊
Dainty M. 
Oh my goodness, as a new adult I can so relate to this! 😅 I think I like the twenty-one thing better than the eighteen thing; I’m going with that!
I know people say to take one day at a time, but I just end up looking at my whole future and freaking out most of the time!
Sometimes, in all honesty, I feel more like a thirteen year old than an adult. Good to hear that I’m not the only one who hasn’t figured it out yet!
By the way, I love the quotes! Definitely relatable! 😂
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Thank you Courtney! You’re definitely not the only one! It’s good to know one is not alone. I still freak out when I try to figure out the future and all. Thanks for sharing your fears too! 🙂
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Hello! I find these musings of yours very interesting as I am a 21-year-old recent college graduate who is now officially unemployed. I believe that the ages 18, 19, 20, or 21 were just set and varied from one country to another, but I believe the fundamental reasons are based on the developmental psychology researches, if what concerns you is holistic development. You may refer to this link to dig on this deeper: https://www.britannica.com/topic/psychological-development
Personally, I believe someone becomes legitimately “adult” when one has the confidence to take on matters beyond what’s structurally taught in the classroom, and allow reflected experience to be your teacher in every step of the way. This is a talk that could help anyone gain that confidence: https://t.co/uDwlSySMYG
I am in no way affiliated to those sites, but I hope these insights contribute to the discussion. ☺
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Thanks Micah! ‘Taking on matters beyond what’s structurally taught in the classroom…’ hmmm, that sounds interesting. But are we really equipped enough to face life outside the classroom? In a world where X and Y’s don’t mean a thing as they did in maths class… Thanks for opening my mind up. I’d also check out the sites. 🙂
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We are actually more equipped than we think we are. ☺ Most often than not, it’s the confidence, resilience, and maybe assertiveness that are lacking.
Just a piece of advice that I got before I started practicing on taking on responsibilities myself through leading in student organizations is this: Nobody ever really feels as ready as they think they should already be. We just start acting on the roles that are beyond ourselves, then learning from then on would continue through trials and errors. ☺
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Hmm, that’s so true and so helpful! Thanks Micah!
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Thank you for your thought-provioking post as well! ☺ I really love how you articulate many millennials’ take on the matter. Blessings!
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There is really no manual or guide to being an adult and quite frankly it’s a tad overrated. You just literally take it one day at a time and hope for the wisdom to do it. When I was 18 I wanted to be 25 so bad, now I’m almost 30 and I’ll do anything to be 16 again it’s a never ending cycle. Just enjoy whatever age you’re at and try to find comfort in the truth that we are all growing old together. Doesn’t matter who gets there first, none of us are getting out alive anyway
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None of us are getting out alive – very true! 😄 I wish we could just take one day at a time. But with people constantly asking about our plans for the future, we can’t help freaking out. Sighs. Thanks for contributing! 😊
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I remember being 18, 21, 30 … let’s just stop there LOL : )
I felt the exact same way so if it’s any comfort you all are not alone.
Everyone feels the exact same way – a new chapter – new stage of development (psychologically speaking lol)
I have seen so many young people have more wisdom than people twice their age – so I truly believe age is just a number …
Someone who is wise beyond their years – a very young adult who happens to be my daughter Courtney shared this with me and I believe these are words to live by : )
Know Who God is
Know Who you are
Know Who your friends are
If you know this you can take on anything
God bless you all as you navigate through this world –
He will never leave you or forsake you !!
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LOL. It’s also good to know you’ve felt this way too! 🙂 I like those words by Courtney- they are really words to live by! Yet, pretty hard in itself. How do you really know God or yourself? Not to talk of some other person! But thank you for the assurance that God will never leave nor forsake us. 🙂
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Hmmmm philosophical questions LOL !
I have taught Philosophy and Ethics but not quite sure how to answer your great questions … these might be a questions for another Q&A 😊
God bless
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LOL. Thank you! I’ll probably do that! 🙂 God bless you too!
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I will look forward to your Q&A 😊
I have taught Philosophy and Ethics – Love philosophy … questions that make you think ~ Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living” and “Know thyself” however he did not say “how” we know ourselves LOL
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LOL! I guess everyone has to find a way of doing so…through God’s help of course!
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The world “adulting” can be quite frustrating… and sometime confusing……. and……and….ok, ok Imma relax.
For me getting a vision from God eliminate confusion to a degree. Only the manufacturer of a product has the details of a product, its function and capacity.
I totally agree with Courtney on her take on this discussion. One belief that has kept me going in the adulting business is: I am totally responsible for my life, nobody else is. If I fail or succeed , its my fault.
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Very true. Getting the vision and direction from God is most important in the adulting process! And yes, we are responsible for our lives- that’s why God allowed us with will power to choose life or death, ‘success or failure’ 🙂 Thanks for your contributions Imma.
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I so relate to this…
A few weeks ago, I was going on a girls’ coffee night out with my best friend, so I commended myself for acting like an “adulting” YA…until I realized I had no cash. So what did I do? I asked my mom for cash! *slow claps for myself* LOL!
Although there’s no denying the fact that we need as much help as we can get with this whole adulting thing, I’ve always believed that young people have more wisdom than people give us credit for having! So I started a blog about adulting 🙂
It’s always nice to be reminded that I’m not alone, so thanks for writing this!
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Hahaha! Aren’t parents just the best? Thanks for sharing that experience. Yeah, I agree that we don’t give ourselves enough credit on how we’ve been handling the adulting process. I look forward to gleaning more from your blog. Thanks!
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LOL! Yes they are (even if it was taken out from my bank account)… Aw, thanks. You got it! 🙂 ❤
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