Hey guys!
How’s the weekend going? It’s a rainy afternoon for me. I finally decided to leave my bed and go on a cruise. You know, get to know new places. I’d like to know how your weekend is going 😊
So yeah today is Q and A on the Weekend Extra. Remember this interesting story we read? https://daintym.com/2016/07/08/the-day-she-died/

Ok, some of you asked that we address the question below:

Why does love turn sour after ‘I love you’ is involved?

Put differently, why do people fall in and out of love so easily? You guys could have just been perfect friends and feelings come in to mess things up.
Anyway, I don’t know so much about this, but I would like to learn from your responses. Remember, no response is wrong.
Please express yourself in the comment section. You can also reply some other person’s comment agreeing or disagreeing.
Ps: This may be a good time to make new friends 😉
I wanna hear your answers! Thanks! 😘
Lots of love,

32 thoughts on “Weekend Extra- Q & A”

  1. Hmm…maybe people tend to see relationships as disposable? Like if a relationship becomes inconvenient, they just assume drop it rather than try to work at it? Admittedly, I don’t have a lot of knowledge in this particular area, but this is what I’m seeing from friends and television.

    Also, perhaps during the “crush” or early dating stages, both parties tend to idealize the other person. When they begin to see flaws, maybe they sort of go into shock, like “Wait, I didn’t see this in them before!”

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    1. “Disposable relationships” I like that coinage Courtney.Quite true though, these days people dispose relationships that don’t work instead of fixing them. Ah! The second point strikes cords! I tend to take my perfectionism into relationships- expecting that flawless one! 🙈 Thanks for your answers Courtney!

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    2. I think you’re right that people idolize each other (I’ve been guilty of that). A lot of times when people break up, the one who was dumped says “but they were so perfect.” No one’s perfect!

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      1. Lol. Yeah, I get that too! I mean, you find one that almost checks out all your checklist and you want to hold on to them forever- even when they really aren’t into it. 🙂

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  2. This is a great question Mfon : ) I love your idea for a question and answer …
    Here are my thoughts …
    First in today’s society, I believe people do no took at relationships even marriage as forever and permanent – Sad but true. The divorce rate continues to escalate and less people are either getting married later or not at all. People seem to fear commitment.

    Second, I think sometimes people have an idea of the “perfect person” and quite honestly … there is not anyone who can live up to that standard.

    I teach High School Psychology, Sociology, and Marriage & Family Classes … so I am pulling from there to give my input : ) Some girls grow up watching Disney Princess Movies and look for their prince charming … there is a not a guy or girl who can fulfill the prince / princess in the movies.

    Above all, I strongly believe if God is not the center of your relationship – then it is more apt to fail apart.
    Marriage / a relationship takes three … but I believe even if you are dating someone you have to be on the same page and put God first – worshiping Him together, praying together, and living for Him.

    I showed my Marriage & Family Class a video by Joshua Harris who is the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye – great video really showing us as Christians how to view the person we are with from God’s point of view.

    One very big point he made was that as Christians we should look at the other person and think, “Jesus died for this person, they are made in the Image of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, …. I want the BEST for the the person I am with”
    He said John 15:13 below should be our perspective towards the person we are with –
    13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

    Also this verse came to mind too : )
    Ecclesiastes 4:12Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

    I could go on but this is probably more than enough lol ; ) God’s blessings to you !

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    1. I think everyone has to read this! 😊 I agree very well with the Disney dreams which are never really fulfilled in real life 😢 And yes! God has to be the centre of the relationship for it to work. Courtney also talked about looking for perfect people which never really exist 😊 Thank you for the extensive answer! I would love to attend one of your classes! 😊😊

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      1. Thank you SO much !! You are so sweet !!! I would absolutely LOVE to have you in one of my classes : ) especially during class discussions – I always love when you share your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs : )
        Sorry it was so LONG lol : )
        One more last thought … I think it’s really important for two people to be friends as that really is the basis for any relationship and to communicate with one another.

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  3. Why do people fall in and out of love so easily? I think that it is because neither person is really pursuing the other. Most of the time they just want acceptance from others, they don’t actually love the person. But those are just my thoughts! I’d love to hear what yall think!
    Mandie

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    1. Yeah! The struggle for acceptance! A lot of people make the mistake of going into relationships just to get accepted by the other person or by society. Thanks Mandie for sharing your thoughts! ❤

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  4. I don’t know that it is when “I love you”‘s are said that love goes sour but I do agree whole heartedly with Courtney. People are becoming a little too self dependent and sufficient for our own good. Not that being self sufficient is a bad thing but we were created to need each other. A great component of love is dependency. #my2cents.

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    1. This is really opening me up! I mean, aren’t we encouraged to be independent and self sufficient? Personally I strive for that. I just haven’t seen it as something that affects love before 😊 I’m glad to have learnt this! Thanks Uche for your contribution 😃

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  5. I think, The statement… I love you indicates some form of vulnerability. Not in a bad way…just stating that one has a deep affection for the other.. Which often communicates a sense of responsibility to the person who is the object of love. However responsibility is entirely a choice. So the object of love can acknowledge the profession and show commitment to nurture the relationship or bulk at the thought of putting in any effort. My observation from today’s relationships- people want a deep relationship without the commitment and diligence neccesary to build such. So we have effusive but shallow relationships that get the 1000likes and Awwwws… But no depth. When friendship is true and both persons are willing to roll up their sleeves to keep it going… I love you does make the relationship sweeter… Great trees, don’t look like it at first., while others are busy bearing fruit, they’re deepening root… When that’s done…fruits n shelter become it’s consistent produce.

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    1. Ah! The responsibility of commitment! Alot of us run away from this! Lol. You’re right, there’s a degree of vulnerability that comes with saying ‘I love you’. That’s why heartbreaks become inevitable when the other party bails. So much depth in all you’ve said! Thanks for sharing Didi!

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  6. Hmmm if I say make I talk, it will turn out a story book.
    For me I still believe in 50/50 kind of relationship where both party are really into each other not for any vain thing however.
    I don’t know but I think the word “I love you” kind of have some physiological effects on our psyche thereby making us to have a level of expectation from the other person that can’t be gotten. When such person can’t or is neglecting the fulfilment of such expectation, the relationship begins to have hiccups.
    I often some people says they can’t date their best friend, reason? He/she is such too close. The question I usually ask is, perhaps an enemy will make a good date then
    #my2cents

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    1. Haha! Well, that’s quite true. The familiar becomes too familiar. Expectations often lead to disappointments and it’s no surprise to see that when it comes to love. Some expect more than the other can give, which is quite sad. Thanks for joining in Immanuel! 🙂

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      1. Me again !! I just have to say I love hearing / reading everyone’s point of view on this question – what an awesome idea Mfon !!!

        I know Courtney just posted a question about what attracts people to someone – do opposites attract or similar attract ?? I am excited to see her responses too !

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      3. Unrealistic and undue expectation which is often humanly possible except if the person is the Holy Spirit.
        You see it is very easy to love another if your love for God is on point. Different people have different connotation of what love means. Until the right perspective is embrace, relationship s will continue to suffer

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  9. I think Donald Miller once said something and so true ‘when you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are’ we expect a whole lot of things and that’s causing a nose dive in our relationships. Girls expect boys to be there on time everyday, hit them on bed from the ceiling to the bed

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  10. Love is a lot more than good times and butterflies. Real love is sacrificial and commitment-like God has for us. Sometimes loving someone means sticking with them even though you don’t feel like it (unless they are cheating or abusing you of course). Love is more than a feeling, and we don’t always understand that, especially us Americans in our convenience driven culture.

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    1. True indeed…It’s not even limited to Americans alone, pretty much everyone is into the convenience driven culture. We want to love when things are good. And when things aren’t so good, we bail. Thanks for reminding us that love isn’t just some feeling but rather involves sacrifices and commitments like what God has for us. Thanks for contributing Emily!

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