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I’ve often considered myself as being friendly. Albeit I have a strong tendency to be into my shell and be more reactive than proactive as a result of personality traits. However, once I identify someone that looks like me or acts like me, I’m more than willing to strike up a conversation! It’s no surprise my friends are pretty much like me, or I’m like them πŸ˜€

Making friends is a bit easy. Sustaining such friendships is where the problem lies. People get separated by distance, jobs, new relationships etc. Back in school, my Chancellor would say 20 friends cannot play together in the same place for 20 years. Very true! Just a couple years after school and I have friends spread all over the globe doing various things. Thanks to social media though, you can keep a track of important details.

But it’s really sad how very close friends become estranged. It’s like a garden left uncared for. The weeds of little misunderstandings and mistrust take over and all you’re left with is the memory of what once was. I’ve had so many blooming friendships end up this way. Either one party stopped working on it or both just gave up trying.

My emphasis for this post though is that moment when estranged friends try to get back together. Where do you start from? You would probably start by asking about things you knew previously. “M, how about that your red Toyota car?” “Oh, I sold it. How about your granny? I loved those chips she often made.” “Yeah, she passed away some 2 years back.” “Oh wow, sorry about your loss.” Then an awkward silence follows as you try to find what to say. “Are you still practicing Diplomacy as you wanted to?” “No, I’m into Human Resources now.” “Oh, okay” What would you probably discuss that wouldn’t sound awkward and disconnected?

Truth is, you’ll probably need some time together to catch up. Or you may fumble with awkwardness for some time till you finally accept the fate that life has changed. People change. So just move on. BTW, this isn’t really a post on human relationships and friendship. This is more of that awkwardness that goes on when you become estranged from God; when you stop reading your Bible or having personal quiet times. When you begin to skip Sunday Services and forget what days the midweek services fall on.

A relationship with God is pretty much like human relationships, it needs a lot of communication and ‘keeping in touch’. You hardly tell estranged friends about a crisis you’re going through in the present. “So I and Zac have been having issues with our relationship.” “Who’s Zac? I thought you were with Mike?” “Oh that was donkey years ago!” And you have to start going on and on about how your relationship life has evolved over the years before she can understand the current situation and try to proffer solutions. Exhaustive!

I’ve had those awkward times where I flip through my Bible unsure of where to start from. Times where I ruminate over my past sins, forgetting that He forgives sins and remembers them no more. I’m likeΒ “Err, what’s going on God? Where do I start from?” Of course, He is always there. We are the ones who pull back. Who get so busy with life that we forget to check with Him.Β  He becomes strange to us. And of course you go back to playing catch up; trying to reconnect. Personally, I don’t really find the reconnecting process exciting. I usually say; if you leave me, don’t waltz back into my life to take the seat you were used to. You’ve gotta start all over again to know me. That’s also how I perceive my relationship with God. If I leave Him for a couple of weeks, I have to take the time to backtrack and make amends before we pick up. I have to open up about what happened; how I made mistakes (which I could have avoided if I asked Him) and so on.

Have you ever traveled away from a favorite WiFi spot and come back to see it asking for password? I mean, back then it could connect easily as long as you were there. But you left and became ‘estranged’- I find this really frustrating! πŸ˜€

So are you estranged from God? Or even from your friends and family? Do the needful. Go back and reconnect. And most importantly, don’t leave, don’t leave God. He loves you dearly and waits for you to come back. Once you reconnect, make sure you remain connected!


Β©Mfon Etuk, 2016

25 thoughts on “Estranged

  1. It’s not very often that I read something and pause because I’m so convicted that I wanna fall on my face and weep.
    I’m so good at running away and not facing my feelings, shutting my friends out and just being by myself. But I’m working on it and this post? Wow Mfon, thank you…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post Mfon!
    I know exactly what you are talking about. I am just so glad that God is so merciful. When I fall off the rails He is patient with me, drawing me back to Him. At times I get frustrated because I don’t want to fall off the rails…..!! I want to stay in Him forever.
    That’s the fight I guess!
    God bless…


    1. Oh yes! That’s the struggle most of us deal with. Going off the rails and beating ourselves up about it…thank God for His grace, mercy and patience! Thanks for your contribution Rolain. God bless you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved your post and your analogies were awesome – so visual and relevant !!
    You are so right God is the same today, tomorrow, always He will never
    leave us or forsake us … but sometimes life can distract us from Him.
    I teach AP English and my class read Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
    years ago … amazing book – opened my eyes to the ways we can get
    so easily distracted from God and not even intentionally life is so busy …
    Awesome !!! love your writing style too : )


    1. Thank so much! πŸ˜€ Yes indeed life gets so distracting! That God we have an understanding Father who doesn’t kick us away when we come back to Him. I’d love to check out that book by C.S Lewis. Thanks for checking out my blog!! πŸ˜€ I

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome loving your blogs – thanks for taking time to bless others with what God places on your heart – you have so much wisdom – like Solomon : )
        Screw tape Letters by C.S. Lewis is amazing when I assign it to my AP English Classes my students rave about it – if we lived a little closer you could borrow my book …LOL
        It is a blessing blogging along side of my daughter Courtney and getting to know her amazing blogging friends : )


      2. Lol, it would have been nice to borrow the book too! I’ll be sure to let you know when I read it. Thank God for your amazing daughter who has made us blogging friends as well! πŸ˜€ Remain blessed!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Such a great message! I have some old friends from highschool that I’ve sadly become disconnected from. Now I want to make an effort to get in touch before the semester starts! The same really is true with God. Sometimes when I feel bad, the last thing I want to do is worship or pray. I found that the trick is to just start and let the Holy Spirit take over from there.


    1. Oh yeah, I’ve lost touch with a couple of friends as well. I pray I get past the awkwardness of reconnecting. And yeah, its so hard to worship God when I’m down and depressed. But this song ‘Even when it hurts’ by Hillsong United has encourages me. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who helps us!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know if I have read anything like this this year. I thought some one was talking to me verbally only for me to get to spot I saw full stop. This I say is a post that is still speaking to me even as I type, those questions you asked where questions I connect with and and the end I only this question. The excuses, situations that i give as the reason for being in that state or do the things I do, ARE THEY WORTH IT?


    1. Are they worth it? That’s a deep question that will help keep us in check. Thank God it spoke to you πŸ™‚ Lol, I like how you started the comment, it had me smiling sheepishly πŸ˜€ Thanks Mike!


  6. Lovely post, Mfon. The very amazing thing is awkward as you feel when you try to reconnect back to God, it’s a lot easier than human relationships. A human being might want to enter that “you can’t just come and take a seat” mode as you rightly described it, but God is always ready with open arms. So yea, reconnect with God and don’t get disconnected again, and most importantly no matter how many times you get disconnected, just reconnect asap. Don’t let the devil lie to you that it’s such a “long thing”. God is just a prayer away.


    1. Rightly said Iyinoluwa! The devil sure makes us think that God wouldn’t want us back. But God loves us so much! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! πŸ˜€


  7. where did my comment go? I Have forgotten what I typed earlier sef.

    one thing I believe is that there are no spiritual battery, thus spirituality cannot be stored. I could connect with that awkwardness of which I have had enough of, but God is such full of mercy.
    very apt, beautiful and insightful post!


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