My thoughts are chasing me
Can you hear me?
Is there anyone here?
Or is it just me?
I guess its silent night again
I can’t see you
I can’t hear you
Please don’t leave me
Say something- anything!
I need to know you care
Or don’t you?
– © Mfon Etuk, 2015
M: Lately, I feel like you’re so far away. Or maybe more concerned with other pressing issues. I know it’s the enemy’s deception, but sometimes I can’t help it. Doubts crawl into my mind like bugs in an abandoned apartment. I want to believe you’re here, but sometimes it’s so hard to see behind the fog. True though, it’s really foggy outside my window.
G: Go on, I’m listening.
M: I know I’ve pulled back from you. Because I don’t feel you anymore.
G: But what ever happened to leaping in faith? Trusting me to catch you when you fall?
M: You don’t understand! It’s so freaking hard to believe you’re there when everything goes south. Like right now; I’m confused, I’m tired, I’m depressed, I’m lonely and I can’t help myself. Yes, I’ve called on you but I can’t see you reaching out to help me.
G: Are my hands too short that I can’t save you? Or my ears too dull that I can’t hear you? Do you think for a second, that I, who formed the eyes cannot see?
M: It’s overwhelming, Lord.
G: Have the storms killed you? Have the waters drowned you?
M: Honestly, I feel like I’m 6 ft. under the ground everyday- just a walking dead.
G: I would never give you more than you can handle. And you need to remember feelings are but smoke, they fizzle out. You can’t hold on to them for long.
M: I know, Lord. But I’m only human and it’s not my fault that you’ve given me the ability to feel.
G: Now she blames me. Classic human!
M: Please forgive me. I’m just so frustrated. I don’t know what to believe anymore.
G: You’re forgiven. But I have some questions you need to answer.
M: I’m listening, Lord.
G: Have I promised never to leave nor forsake you?
M: Yes you have.
G: Then why do you think I’ve left you for more pressing issues? I’m slightly offended by how little you think of me. Do you really think I need to leave one place to be in another place? What’s your definition of omnipresence?
M: Sighs. I can’t get past my mind trying to figure you the way I figure humans. Please forgive me.
G: I am not a man that I should lie, nor a son of man, that I should change my mind. Do I speak and then not act? Do I promise and not fulfill? Haven’t I said my strength is made perfect in your weakness?
M: I’m despaired, Lord. I was afraid that you had turned your back on me, so I resolved to go my way. Waddling in depression and seeking satisfaction from things that couldn’t satisfy.
G: My thoughts are not your thoughts; your ways are not my ways. As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than yours. What would be the difference between you and I if I have to do things the way you want them to be done?
M: I want your ways, Lord and I repent of my evil ways.
G: Then trust in me with all your heart. Don’t lean on your understanding! The moment you think you’ve got me all figured out is the moment I’ll surprise you. Just believe that I will bring you to that expected end, you don’t need to know how.
M: Yes Lord, I believe. But help my unbelief.
G: Why do you doubt? If I gave you the one thing I cherished the most- my son, what else will I withhold from you?
G: Need I remind you that NOTHING can separate you from my love?
M: Thank you for loving me.
G: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
M: Thank you Father.
G: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
M: I adore you for you are the God of all comfort who comforts me in my troubles; so that I can comfort others in trouble with the comfort I’ve received from You.
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.- Isaiah 1:18
Isaiah 59:1, Psalm 94:9, Isaiah 55:8-9, Numbers 23:19, Proverbs 3:5, Deut 31:8, John 16:33, Romans 8:38-39, 2 Cor 1:3-4, Isaiah 41:10, Mark 9:24.
Song for the day: Can you hold me by NF ft Britt Nicole.
13 thoughts on “Can you hear me?”
Woooow! Wat a beautiful piece…really dis got me thinking “haven’t I berated God in my so called difficult circumstances?” Thanks a lot M
Thank God! True though. But He remains merciful to us. 🙂
Oh wow! This has really encouraged me. You have no idea. I’ve been feeling a lot like God is so distant lately but the reminder of His promises in His word have dispelled every fear! Thanks M.
Thank God! Yes, sometimes our minds get so clouded with fear, we fail to see that He is there.
This debate, I’ve been there too…. Thank God for Mfon.
Thank God for you too! 🙂
Thank God and thank you for reading!
I found you through Fearfully, Wonderfully Me. We would love for you to link up your Bible-related (or any other kind of literacy-related) post at Literacy Musing Mondays #LMMLinkup. http://www.foreverjoyful.net/?p=731
Thanks. I’ll check it out. 🙂
Ok, I legit just had goosebumps. I’ve been so frustrated lately, I feel like when I pray I’m just talking to myself. I was talking to my mum the other day and I just burst into tears and I cried so hard because I was like, I’m praying and praying and God isn’t answering, but the thing is I haven’t been quiet enough to hear Him, there’s so much clutter in my life, loneliness, the fact that I’m not working, etc but I’m starting to learn that if I just settle down, tune everything out and just focus on His word, I just might find that which I am always searching for. Thanks for this post, seriously we need to be friends!
Thank God! I still feel the same way sometimes but we just have to keep trusting that He’s hearing us and will answer us. Oh most definitely we should be friends! 😊 Thanks Ada!
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