I don’t know where to start or what to write. Do I ask about how you are faring? Do I ask of how your son is? Or how the billion children you have are? *awkward silence* This was probably a bad idea-you are way too busy solving world crisis to read this trivial letter.
I’m still here and I figured I might as well complete the letter I started. I want to talk to you so bad! Lately, I feel so distant. It’s like my life is constantly moving without direction. I feel it and I know it that I left you somewhere along the road. We used to be really close. But all I feel in my heart right now is emptiness, the void you left.
I don’t remember where I lost you. Was it when I got new friends? A new job? The cars and the fame? I’m calling out but I hear no answer. I’m reaching out but I can’t feel you…why are you so far from me? Please don’t let me go. Life is so scary without you. Monsters roam the world trying to prey on me, but you said you will pray for me…So why do I still feel afraid?
Fear wraps me about like a wet blanket, I lie in guilt and sleep with condemnation, and I thought I was a new nation…The past is gone, the new is here, the old creature is gone and I’m made new. But right now I feel I just delved back into the world, preferring the old coat to the new…
Frustrated, angry, depressed, can’t take this no more and then I turn to my demons. Pouring out all my secrets like a leaking pipe, so desperate for a word of comfort and a hug-I get none. Ashamed and alone I turn my back on the good, since the world is full of evil, let me be d-evil.
Words on paper don’t make any sense, I’m so tensed, can’t even complete my sentence. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I want to come back home. Like the prodigal son shamelessly feeding on the meal of pigs, I’ve eaten crap for so long it leaves me in tears. I miss you dad. Please take me back.
©Mfon Etuk, 2015